From the Beginning

I started this post a few months ago but let it slip to the back of my mind... so here it is... my story... [of the condensed-milk variety]
There was a time when the word diabetes couldn't leave my mouth without tears streaming down my face. To say "I have diabetes" was the most difficult sentence to speak, to think, to acknowledge. So, I rarely did. The people who knew were the ones I didn't have to tell - they just knew because they're my family, friends or teachers that needed to know why I missed school for three days.
It was the 14 March 2000. For a few weeks I just felt off balance. My weight had dropped drastically and I wasn't very much of anything to start with, I was incessantly thirsty, going to the bathroom, tired, moody. I finally told my mom how I felt and made an appointment to see my doctor the next day. On the Ides of March I walked into the doctor's office with my sister Kelly by my side. The symptoms were obvious to him, did a few quick tests and he came back in the room and said "you have diabetes". Simple. I had no idea what that meant but it didn't sound good. We called my mom and told her what the doctor said and that we need to go to Children's Hospital immediately and that I might be there for a few days. My sister and I left the office and went home to pack a few things for me and we waited for our parents. I don't remember speaking the whole way home or to the hospital. All I could do was sit there with this lump in my throat - the tears being pushed down inside.
When my parents got home we got in the car and headed out to New Orleans where I would spend the next 3 days in a drafty gown and hospital bed learning about diabetes and all the complications that could arise in the future and the basics of caring for myself. I don't remember speaking for those days, I just felt numb and scared and alone, but very well-hydrated for the first time in a long time. Laying in my hospital bed with an IV in my hand I was forced to see the world with new eyes. Why me? I thought. Why now? What did I do for this to happen to me? It wasn't for many years later that I learned the answers to those questions.
When I was allowed to go home I felt lost. Life turned upside down. I remember sitting at the computer chatting online with friends when suddenly I thought I was going to pass out. I was shaking and felt wobbly as I tried to walk to get my meter to test. I was low. I hated that feeling, I hated this, when will it stop? I got a juice and went back to the computer and sat in the chair and cried. As time passed, I got used to the routine of life with diabetes. The checking and re-checking, the injections, the carb counting, the crying... Years rolled on and I was in my final semester at Loyola when my mom called me and said I should stop by her office for lunch. It was almost my 'anniversary' and we always spend it together. She showed me an email she received from Children with Diabetes and a link to an organization called AYUDA. 'This organization does diabetes summer camps in South America' she told me. My ears instantly perked up at the words South America. I'd been studying Spanish as a minor and love to travel. My mom didn't mind because it was diabetes-related and she knew there would be people to watch over me [I suppose]. So I applied that day and was accepted as a volunteer a few days later. As soon as I got notice of my acceptance I started writing fundraising letters to everyone I knew. I vividly remember telling one of my pshyc professors after class about the journey I was going to take. She asked why I wanted to do something like this and that lump suddenly appeared out of nowhere and I began to cry. I couldn't hold the tears down. Sniffling I said, "I have diabetes".
When it finally came time for me to go to Ecuador I was ecstatic. More so for traveling than being around a bunch of other kids with diabetes. But that soon changed. I'd never met anyone with diabetes and to be surrounded by so many others was truly a life changing moment. I still like to look around the room [or wherever we are, bus, plane, office, fogata] and count how many of us there are. I learned so much about myself during my first time in Ecuador with AYUDA. I learned that I had not accepted my life with diabetes, I was suppressing my emotions and I had no reason to feel alone. I met so many people to share stories with and we all helped each other through difficult moments. But mostly I just sat back in awe in the manner in which they took care of themselves and were so free and ::gasp:: testing in public!
This was a whole new world I entered into. Where I could help as much as I could learn and I knew I had to continue being apart of this amazing group of people. Since I've come back from that beautiful country I have not once cried because "I have diabetes" I am now proud to say that I have gained strength and a new outlook on the world that I would have never otherwise seen or felt. I don't know where I would be right now if it weren't for AYUDA, the other volunteers and those glorious children in Ecuador but [I like to think as Ketut Liyer told Liz Gilbert] you were never not coming here, you were always coming here. It is destiny, set in my path to be a part of, I am here for this reason.
I have diabetes.

Always gracious.

Land!!

The cruise is over and I'm finally back on dry land... although I still feel as though I'm on board swinging and swaying with the waves. This vacation has taught me a few things.... 1. don't go on a cruise for 5 days 2. cruises are way over-rated 3. Playa del Carmen, Mexico is one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever been to [Calica is not an actual town]. 4. anything is possible with diabetes... well I already knew that I just like to reiterate it... often. 5. bring your own alcohol. 6. internet costs 24$ an hour and room maintenance is not included.
I had a good time with my friends. We get along well until, apparently, we're stuck with each other with nowhere to go. At times I think one of us would have thrown another overboard but we all managed to get off the boat in the proper manner without too many claw marks. But lesson learned I suppose. No more cruises for us. Next time we'll fly to a beach.
In diabetes news though, he behaved quiet surprisingly well. I had a few lows but there is enough sugar on that boat to save an entire village of people with diabetes, simultaneously having a hypoglycemic episode, at any given moment. That is to say, the food was delicious... well dinner was anyway. Such succulence! Such culinary delight! I had steak just about every night. My pre-cruise body needless to say lasted about a day. C'est la vie.... it was worth it. I tried to stay away from dessert as much as possible... not for diabetes sake but for the sake of my stomach showing in a bikini the next day. Carbs were a little difficult to calculate but that was easy enough to fix and I was back to my daily jaunts.
Great dancing. Great destinations. Great food. But I'd rather be on land. Glorious land.

Say it aint snow

I can't believe I live here. It snows here... a lot. It's cold and wet and my Southern blood is not yet ready to do battle with the icy winds of the DC Metropolitan Region. However! There is light at the end of the tunnel... well... for a week at least. I'm packing up and heading out to Tampa tomorrow where I will then board the Carnival Cruise Fun Ship on Saturday to go to such glorious [and warm] sounding locales as the Grand Caymans and Calica, Mexico. This is my first cruising experience and I have some worries... Titanic-esque and diabetes-esque.
This will not be your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill cruise though - because I can do nothing average [unless it's the GRE]. This cruise will be a salsa cruise. That's right people... salsa, mambo, chacha, bachata... all week... with some of my favorite people coming along for the ride. But all this excitement poses another problem... lows... That is a lot of exercise going on. I feel like I'll need to stock up on glucotabs and juice boxes for my salsa extravaganza so I won't have to miss a beat on the dance floor. Oh the joys of packing, I swear if I didn't have diabetes I would be able to pack sooo much lighter... that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Although I also have the feeling that some really high highs will sneak in because I hear that there is no shortage of food aboard these floating dance floors. So maybe I'll need an extra bottle of Novolog... I wonder if it's possible to use and entire bottle in one week...
I like to make packing lists, it helps me remember things. It also makes me wonder what 'normal' peoples packing lists look like... what do you mean you don't pack extra syringes in your carry on?! hmmm...
To pack:
extra bottle of Novolog and Lantus [in case of breakage and/or abundance of food]
swimsuits
shorts
extra test strips
tank tops
extra needles
dresses
tennis shoes
flip flops
dance shoes
glucagon
hat
sunglasses
toiletries
glucotabs
cash money
skirt
fancier dress for Captains Dinner..................

Ay, ay mate. Over and Out.
Captain Jules.

Sickly

Starting a day or so ago I haven't been feeling 100%. Got a cold. I haven't been sick for maybe two years... yeah... amazing... I know. I take my vitamins daily and eat well and exercise about 6 days a week but sometimes it's just unavoidable. I'm linking it to taking the Metro. It has to be the most germ-infested place in the world. All those people crammed into a tiny space, coughing, sneezing, wheezing and the like then grabbing onto the bars and hand rails so they don't fall over when it suddenly jerks around. Gross!! Think of all that bacteria just festering on those poles... ::shiver:: Do they even disinfect them at night?

Hmm I wonder what Dr. Oz would say about this... Did anyone else see the show he did on Oprah with the lady who never threw anything away and had the same pillow for about 40 years?! naaaaasty. Needless to say there were more bacteria in her kitchen sink than in her toilet. That's somewhere I won't be visiting anytime soon.
Anyway. Back to my point. What was my point? Oh yeah, so my numbers have been amazing! Better than amazing... hmm what's better than amazing?? Well that's what they've been. From what I remember though getting sick has made my numbers go all over the map but luckily this time [minus one rebellious checking] I have been perfectly "in range". Ah-mazing. This just goes to show how ridiculously unpredicatable diabetes can be.
I just hope this cold goes away stat! [and my numbers stay the same!] My cruise is in 7 days!! :D
And yes, I am going to the gym even though I'm sick... no rest for the wicked.

Peace. Love. Insulin.

PS. Anyone have diabetes/cruise stories to share??

Thanks and Giving

Muchas gracias. Merci beaucoup. Danke. Grazie. Muito obrigado.
There are endless ways to say thanks, thank you. But today is the day we're supposed to mean it. Today is the day we gather with friends and family and celebrate how grateful we are to have each other in our lives. It is a word that gets tossed around so freely that at times it seems to have lost its meaning. What does it mean to be thankful... to be full of thanks, to be happy someone did something for you? According to Mr. Webster it means to be grateful, to express gratitude, to have kindly or grateful thoughts. Think about it. How many times during the day do you say it and mean it? Well, today I'm saying it as often as possible and to everyone I love. Thank you. I mean it with all my heart. I'm thankful for everything I have in my life. I'm thankful for my family and friends, my intellect, my body, my ability to love, laugh and grow, I'm even thankful for being pancreatically challenged. It has taught me many lessons... how to accept change, how to be strong, how to lose gracefully and keep on trying... and trying.
My family and friends have also been great in supporting me and keeping me going, especially when I feel it's getting harder and harder. For that I am thankful. Without them I would not be standing, I would have fallen years ago. What are you thankful for? To whom do you give thanks? How do you show thanks?
Enough thanks, now to giving.
I have talked about AYUDA probably more than anything in this blog of mine because as I say every time, they have changed my life. Yet another thing to add to the list o' thanks. I am thankful for their kindness, passion, courage and love. I am thankful for the children, camp and seemingly endless nights of blood sugar checks. I am thankful AYUDA exists. [Ok, now I'm done with thanks, for now...]
To keep AYUDA going and bringing these experiences to others, I am asking for you to keep AYUDA in your thoughts this holiday season and throughout the rest of the year. Donating to AYUDA in someone's name is a great gift to give. What could be better than giving health and happiness to a child? No amount is too small... or too large and you're helping change someone's life. Be thankful for all that you have and pass on your gifts to someone truly in need. AYUDA is starting a new program in Bolivia in January and to continuing creating new programs and camps we need support. So please, do what you can, even telling a friend about AYUDA is helpful.
Thank you from the bottom of my pancreas.
Much love.

Ways to donate:
Online:
www.ayudainc.net
http://apps.facebook.com/causes/view_cause/5912?h=plw&recruiter_id=2047798
or click the Global Giving widget on the left side of this blog.

Mail:
AYUDA, Inc.
P.O. Box 12206
Arlington,VA 22219

Feel free to mention how you learned about AYUDA...

Thank you! Have I said that enough yet? One more time... Muchas gracias, con todo mi corazon. Juntos somos mas fuertes!!

Stress

So if you know me even the slightest you know I don't stress easily. I'm a very laid back, easy going kinda gal, I just take what life gives me and I deal with it. I think diabetes has had a lot to do with this attitude of mine [as well as growing up in Louisiana]. But there are a few things that are able to make me want to pull my hair out or sleep for two days straight, out of sheer avoidance. One of those things is coming up on the 16th of this month... the GRE. I know, I know. I should have taken it right after college then I wouldn't have to be dealing with it now but I also tend to procrastinate things like this because of the stress factor. I keep telling myself that I'm going to study but I keep looking over at that packet and returning to whatever it was that I was doing before. Like now for instance... instead of reading that stupid packet I'm blogging...
This test holds my future hostage. For four hours I will be in a room sitting in front of a computer answering questions I probably haven't even thought of since freshman year or before. That makes me anxious. Answering questions that hold the key to the rest of my life stresses me out. Without it though, I am unable to get into the graduate program I want so I can stop doing temp work and actually have a career and accomplish my goals and dreams. When all is said and done and I've graduated [hopefully within the next 2.5 years] I will hold [again, hopefully] a Masters in Public Health and going to work in the diabetes realm. I want to also become a Certified Diabetes Educator so I can continue educating myself and others with diabetes, specifically in under served populations in the states and abroad. I'd also like to continue volunteering with AYUDA and going back to camp with a larger role, even though I absolutely love being a counselor, I can't do it forever. But I can always be involved some how.
If only it weren't so scary and stressful... maybe I'm just making it a bigger deal than it should be... maybe not....
Peace, love and insulin.

Gluttony

Awhile back I was told, by someone dear to me, that I am a glutton for punishment. After thinking about it for a long time, I've realized how true that really is. I push myself to the limits, to see how much I can take, to see how much I can withstand before being unable to stand at all. Sometimes I feel as though I am about to fall but I catch myself and keep going. This life with diabetes is much of the same. Everyday I test my boundaries, highly aware of the consequences but unable to avoid my own curiosity. There are times when I just want to stop, to give in and succumb to this condition and let it take over so I don't have to work so hard anymore. It would be so nice to be able to take a break, just for a minute... to catch my breath. Then there are the other times when I realize how stupid that is, there are no time-outs. I must keep pushing myself. To the point of breaking, I continue. I have been broken down but never broken beyond repair.
Gluttony and diabetes aren't generally two things you would pair together - hopefully - but I can see the connection of the two within me. But instead of in the normal context of binge eating, I am a glutton for living beyond normal means... to test my body. Possibly to see if I can handle things many people say people with diabetes can't. It might seem a bit rebellious at times but it feels good knowing I can do it... whatever it may be... and wake up to another tomorrow. I will not stop. I will not be broken. Hearing people say I can't only makes me want to push and punish myself even harder, while mentally punching them in the face. Hmm... I think I'll go have some more Halloween candy now.
Never say never, I've learned. You can always do more, you can continue even when doubting you're own strength. What's that saying... pain is weakness leaving the body?...

To a life of gluttony.

Numbers

This is a nice, simple video to help spread awareness of diabetes:

Find more videos like this on Tu Diabetes - A Community for People Touched by Diabetes


Not just another number.
xo

Proof of Life

For those of you with diabetes, I think you will understand me when I say that my life is like a science experiment. So when asked 'what's it like to have diabetes?' I respond 'like a science experiement'. However, when I tell this to lay-persons they stare back at me quizically trying to comprend what I mean. I mean my life is run by numbers, tests, checks, re-tests, critical thinking, methodically planned events, trial and error, hypotheses, data ... science experiment. You'd think I'd be better in math by now...
Numbers run my life - age, weight, bank account, metro fares, time, distance, blood sugars, insulin doses, carb counting, nutrition labels... it's a never ending list.
I've recently re-started to log my blood sugars. I used to keep a cute little journal on my kitchen counter then I stopped after I moved to Maryland. I decided I should start again so now I have an Excel spreadsheet with time and doses and all those great little columns such as 'other', 'exercise' and 'notes' to analyze why my numbers are what they are. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it just doesn't. Diabetes is funny like that - such a joker. Logging, I belive, is a great way to stay in better control because you are fully aware of the number in that little box and all the other digits and data in the little boxes.
If I were diagnosed in elementary school this would have always been my project for the science fair. I definitely would have won over that girl who did the volcano project... ugh so chiche. But not everyone's imperfect like me, not everyone gets to have my amazing statistical and critical thinking abilites and must indeed rely on volcano projects and the solar system. Be jealous, it's ok, I totally understand. I am, after all, pretty awesome.
Experiments aside, diabetes has given me a greater respect for life and a better understanding of my body. It forces me stop and take a breather, to cherish the things that I have been given and the people that I would have never met had I never been diagnosed. So after all of these years, and probably many more to come, my daily experiments will continue. It may never come to a conclusion but I have my proof, my proof of life.

Word in Your Hand

what's yours?

My life, my style

So recently, I got some flack in the dlife blog world for my comments that diabetes is a lifestyle and not liking the words "diabetic" or "disease". Here are my thoughts and opinions on the above and why...
There are so many more aspects to diabetes than most people could ever possibly imagine. Diabetes is a part of my everyday life, it is what I do, it is what I want to teach people about, it is a part of who I am [note: I did not say who I am - just a part]. Together we rise and fall like the sun - constant, sometimes glorious, sometimes dark - but definitely always around. Aside from the injections, glicemias, glucotabs, etc., the part of diabetes some don't venture to talk about is the psyco-social aspect. In one of my college psych classes we watched a film called "What the bleep do we know?". Some parts were good, some were just rediculous, but one part has stuck with me. Dr. Masaru Emoto is a Japanese scientist who has studied the effects of water and our consciousness, sounds silly I know but once you've seen it, it's hard to forget. The gist is that positive reinforcements or negative actions have either postive or negative effects on ourselves. The example in the movie is the main character constantly telling herself that she is ugly and awkward and stupid. Dr. Emoto believes this changes our bodies ability to function properly [since we're mostly water] and becomes more susceptible to illness. On the other hand, when you think highly of yourself and have daily positive reinforcements our bodies are healthier because they are stronger. I have brought this concept into my daily life and my diabetes management. If I were to wake up daily saying how much I hate diabetes, how this disease is going to kill me, and/or how I wish for some other body than the one I have equipped with functioning organs, in essence, I'd be making myself worse. These negative thoughts and ideas have a profoundly harmful effect on our lives and how we perceive ourselves. So no, I don't say I have a disease, but a condition. I don't say I'm diabetic, but have diabetes. This is why. In all logic and dictionaries, yes, it means the same thing but the way I think about my condition doesn't have to have the same effect. Diabetes is my lifestyle because it is the way in which I choose to live. Happy, peaceful, calm, proud, healthy. I did not choose diabetes, it has chosen me - like a stray animal never wanting to leave your side... sometimes you're friends, sometimes you want to kick it in the head. Oh sorry, off topic, please don't kick animals that's just bad karma. Because of diabetes, I have found some amazing people and an inner-strength I may have never needed or found otherwise. We all have trials and tribulations but to add diabetes on to all of that, it can either make you or break you [sorry to be so cliche]. I choose to think this way about diabetes because I don't see any other way to do so. Diabetes is not something you can fight. In battle someone always loses and diabetes is going to be around for awhile. You must learn to live with it, to accept it, to rise and fall and rise again.

Feel the love.

http://www.adhikara.com/art_kunst/emoto/water-4.htm

http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm

http://www.spiritofmaat.com/archive/aug1/consciouswater.html

Diabetes Health

Woohoo!!! Ahhh I'm super excited!! I wrote an article for Diabetes Health and here it is....
http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/2007/09/27/5450.html
Tell me what ya think :)
Much love!

"Giving"

I'm sitting here reading Bill Clinton's new book Giving and crying. Not because the former President is such an amazing wordsmith but the message, the idea, the generosity of the people he writes about is so powerful and so close to my heart. He speaks of the usual suspects: Bill and Melinda Gates, Oprah Winfrey and a man I'd not heard of Sterling Stamos. The amount of effort and money they give to charitable organizations is mind baffeling, especially since I've been involved with AYUDA for over 3 years now and I've seen the inner-workings of the citizen-sector world. I want so badly for AYUDA to gain larger recognition and to be the organization known for working to empower youth in diabetes communities around the world that it makes my heart ache to think that people don't know what AYUDA is all about. The good we do. The love, effort, time and healing that comes out of our work. We may not be searching for a cure for diabetes like JDRF or the ADA or any other typical diabetes organization but we're trying to allow people in under-developed nations live, to be alive, with this condition. The thought of leaving these kids after camp and returing to a home without insulin or test strips tears me up inside. As Bill quotes Sterling Stamos in Giving as to why he donates so much money, "ten million children die each year of preventable, curable and treatable diseases... global health is a moral opportunity and an undervalued asset that, if properly funded, could yield a huge social benefit...". That social benefit is another child living to see his next birthday, to have the ability to have a happy, healthy life. Don't we all deserve that? Chronic condition or not, we all have the right to live. Paul Farmer was quoted as saying something similar to Stamos in Mountain Beyond Mountain (an amazing book, must read) to the effect of no one should die of a treatable condition. Diabetes is a treatable, although not yet curable, condition. Everyone with diabetes should have the right to affordable medication and the educational tools on how to use them properly, no matter where in the world that person lives. There are so many obstacles and hurdles and questions that the task of helping someone is daunting. Why is it so difficult? Or is it really not that difficult and our approach is just wrong? How can we get more people involved and invested?... Would you help if I asked?
There is so much work being done in cancer and HIV/AIDS research, prevention, looking for cures and cheaper medications. What about diabetes? When will diabetes get the recognition it deserves? Yes, I know about the UN Resolution on Diabetes, does anyone else? Diabetes isn't going away any time soon and neither am I. We need just as much help, if not more. Type 1 diabetes is for life, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No rest, no breaks. It affects 5 times more people throughout the world than does HIV/AIDS. When will we get cheaper insulin and supplies? I have so many questions and not enough answers.

I'm only on the 2nd chapter of Giving so I'll probably talk more about it as I go...

Share the love.

New York New York!

Over the weekend I went up to New York with some friends for an event and had an amazing time. However, my control was not so great. I would just totally forget to check sometimes and go eat then check later because I felt high and sure enough... I was... realizing I didn't check before we ate. Taking a vacation is not an allowance for taking a vacation from being in control. It's not like I wouldn't check because I didn't want people to see me... I was with my friends they're used to it by now. It just slipped my mind when everyone around starting to eat, so did I without knowing my BS level. I'm kind of mad at myself for doing that but then at the same time I'm not becasue I'm home now and I know and can get back in control. Although, I should have been more careful. One day though, I only needed to take 2 units of Novolog and the regular 20 of Lantus and I was still low later on in the day! We did so much walking and dancing and a little bit went a long way. That was a fun day.
Does this happen to anyone else? Control just 'slips' your mind because you're on vacation?

Changes and Challenges

I'm being much more aggressive with my management recently. I'd been slipping and my A1c isn't where I'd like it to be. During camp we test at least eight times a day and I'm trying to keep up with that amount of testing, being sure I always have candies with me, drinking more water and exercising more frequently. Rather than testing a few times a day, almost never having sugar and just being high, drinking lots of coffee and exercising occassionally. I think I let myself get out of control because I was in a funk or some state thereof. After Hurricane Katrina, I moved to Houston where I just wandered around not knowing what to do with myself for awhile. Then I decided to go back to school and started a Certificate of Public Health program at the University of Texas School of Public Health in the Medical Center. I finished the certificate program in December. After about a year and a half I had had enough of Texas and packed up my life and my cat and moved out to Maryland in late February looking for a change. My parents moved out here in Novemeber, having had enough of the New Orleans situation, one of my sisters moved after the hurricane to DC. So now, almost all of us are on the east coast - adjusting nicely, I think, to our new lives in this strange place. Now my challenges and changes continue. My current position with AYUDA is coming to a close since it's a contractual gig and I need to find something else to keep me employed and happy. I also need to finish what I started in Texas. I want to go back to school to get my MPH and eventually become a CDE. All these changes and stresses seriously affect my blood sugars so I just try to go with the flow and try not to worry so much about the future. With a condition like diabetes though it's all about the future and what could happen if you don't take proper care.
My mind still drifts back to Ecuador. I've only been back in the states for 10 days but I don't think I ever fully come back. Each time gets harder to leave. Harder to say goodbye to the people you connect with and want to help. Harder to return to your own reality. Then I remember how I'm not only helping them but they're helping me as well.
For the past couple weeks, I've been waking up and reaching for my glasses only to remember I don't have them anymore. I gave them to one of my campers. She's eleven, looks about seven, has cataracts, doesn't hear well and comes from a difficult home life. I'm determined to help her anyway I can because she won't get it any other way. However, I don't know exactly what to do. I have the will and the desire to help change this girls [and all the campers I meet] life but I have not the means or full knowledge on how to do so. When I think of her, I think of how easy my life is, how lucky I am to be able to care for myself and be in good control. So why did I let myself slip for so long? She has given me a new strength, a new drive. I only hope I gave her some of the same during that week. That week that now seems so distant. The only reason I know it actually happened and it wasn't a dream is because of the pictures I took and the glasses I no longer have.

Take care of yourself.

Oh My Lantus!

For this whole week I haven't been feeling so great. Monday was my birthday, yes thank you, thank you, but I felt gross until about Wednesday, then all day yesterday I had this awful headache. Then, this morning I woke up because I was low... I'm hypoglycemia sensitive which is a good thing... helps me avoid some serious lows. Don't get me wrong I've had some 30s in my days but usually I can tell before I get to that point. I don't know exactly how low I was because I didn't test... which I know I should have and I usually do... I just didn't. Anyway, I reached over for my megabottle of glucotabs and popped four of them to bring me up so I could get back to sleeping. When I felt back in range, I fell back asleep. A few hours later I woke up and tested - 115. It's going to be a great day! Whenever I wake up at a number like that my days seem to go better. I have more energy and just feel better. Especially after feeling crappy for the last few days. Also, for the past few mornings I've been waking up low - like 40s and 50s low. Possibly because I switched the time I take my Lantus. Before camp, I took it around 4:30 pm and then due to camp scheduling I changed it and now I'm taking it at dinner time - 7ish. During camp it was fine because we eat about every 5 minutes and I would stay up most nights doing nightrounds for my campers. The lows are starting to get annoying and I don't like eating so much at nighttime [which I've also had to do more of because before bed I've been in the low 100s]. I think I'll switch back to 4ish or do it in the morning. I'm curious as to when other people take it. In Ecuador most do it around 11pm - haven't tried that yet but maybe I will.

I was going to make a poll but I can't figure out how... I'm new to this alright give me a break!... so my question is...

When do you take Lantus?: a. morning b. afternoon c. evening d. don't use Lantus (what do you use?)

Or maybe it's not my Lantus, maybe it's the "new" exercise routine I'm partaking in as in I'm actually going to the gym again. Yay for me! I went once today already but will probably go again later on if I don't go out dancing tonight. In December I'm going on a cruise and eventhough it's summer right now I'm not ready to be in a bikini anytime soon. Eating better + working out more = skinny jeans, right!? And better blood sugars! Hopefully, we'll see...

(the picture is from Campo Amigo Ecuador 2007: Brooke, Pame, Jules, Sarah & Merith)

My first blog!

Aw isn't it cute! It's my first blog.

I wanted to start this blog because I've been reading so many blogs and articles on diabetes by people using terms and words that I don't like. Also, I think it will be a great stress-reliever for those days when I want to throw my meter out the car window when I'm going 90mph. Don't lie you've had those days, too. I'm also interested in what you have to say so speak up!

So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Julie. I just turned 24 and I've had diabetes since 15 March 2000 - my junior year of highschool. Yikes! Currently, I work at AYUDA, Inc. in Arlington... http://www.ayudainc.net/. AYUDA strives to empower youth to become leaders of social change within diabetes communities around the world. It's a mouthful but it works... I'm proof of that. Every year, we do summer camps (Campo Amigo) for kids throughout the developing world with type 1. This past summer was my third camp in Ecuador with AYUDA and hopefully not my last. I'll explain more later. Here are a couple pics of my campers from Campo Amigo Ecuador 2007 :)

Peace. Love. Insulin.