changes

so recently, the jdrf revealed it's new mission - which no longer focuses on a cure as it's main goal. jdrf is changing focus to help those of us with diabetes to live better lives with diabetes. i'm having seriously mixed emotions about this whole ordeal. on one hand i kind of knew all along i would never be "cured" on the other, i always had hope. hope is what kept me going - that one day i will no longer wake up to my daily routine of bg check, insulin, food, repeat. i don't need the jdrf to focus on me living better, i need the jdrf to figure out why. why me? why us? why diabetes? there has to be a logical reason, there has to be a way to stop it from happening. yes. technology does help me live a better life than the one my grandfather had but no i'm not content knowing one less group is looking for a cure. the dri continues to be "the best hope to a cure". i know where my money is going now... sorry jdrf... you give up on me, i give up on you.

one day.

inspiration

i love the inspiration that this man brings to the world of diabetes and people living with diabetes. i met him a few years ago but haven't been able to hear him speak since. it's a wonderful reminder that life goes on, diabetes sucks and we're allowed to feel exactly what we're feeling.

::sigh::

looking toward the sky.

the history of diabetes

This is a great Journal article on the history of diabetes... and it's an easy read.

You don't know where you're going unless you know where you've been...

http://www.journalofdiabetology.org/Pages/Releases/PDFFiles/FirstIssue/RA-1-JOD-09-001.pdf

cheers!

c'est la vie

i've been back from Paris for about a week now and still can't get over how AMAZING my blood sugar was while i was there... and no i did not behave. every morning for breakfast i had eggs, potatoes and 2, yes 2! chocolate croissants. for lunch i had more bread. and dinner i had more bread and cheese and wine and it was divine. my theory is not only was i walking everywhere [we barely sat long enough to have lunch] but i was blissfully happy. no stress, no thinking about my lack of full time employment, no worries about traffic... i was just peacefully content being lost in a new land. i've tried to bring my new outlook back with me to DC but it hasn't been as successful as i'd like. i don't get to walk very much, i work out frequently but at times that aren't too convenient. the eggs and potato breakfast quickly went by the wayside and there are no croissants waiting for me by the coffee pot.

i found an endo i like better than previous ones and he seems like he can shake me up a bit. i think i'm on the right track... i've also been journaling my numbers so i can get a better idea of how they're behaving. hopefully this will be the new beginning of a wonderful life together, big D and i.

here's hoping...

hip! hip! ....

so as we know it's diabetes month! whoop whoop! and today i have my first endo appt with a brand, spanking new doctor. we shall see how that goes. i've been feeling really down about this whole diabetes things lately and i could use some good advice. hopefully, i'll really like my new endo and he can get me back on track because lately things have been crazy. crazy bad, not crazy good. anywho... here's a great video from TuDiabetes and that picture of the cute little girl holding up the bottle of insulin? that's one of AYUDA's campers. [legally, i don't know if they're allowed to use that photo but whatever it's cute and of course everyone loves it. i just think AYUDA should get a little credit for it].

‎"Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can."

dear D

dear diabetes,
today, i hate you. i hate you more than i've ever hated you in the past 10 year relationship we've unwillingly shared. i don't know what else to do to appease you. i feel like i've tried it all and i'm so frustrated it doesn't seem to be working. i want to throw my hands up in the air and scream "i'm done!" but i won't because i know i'm not. i'm just tired... tired of dealing with you and the stress and carb counting and insulin ratios and pretending like it's all ok. it's not ok. i'm not ok. please, please, please go away and leave me alone! although that is unlikely, please just behave so i can continue living my life.

sincerely,
not your bff

i.f.

so since saturday i've been trying a new "diet". it's more of a change in eating times than an actual diet. it's called intermittent fasting and the idea is that you only eat between 11am - 7pm or noon - 8pm... so far it hasn't really been too difficult. last night i needed some orange juice "after hours" bc my b.s. was too low to go to sleep at. and this morning i had some coffee and made my way into the office. so far so good. my bs also seems to be in slightly better control bc i haven't let myself eat past 8pm (something my doc in Miami told me to do anyway). thoughts? do you think that eating late has a serious effect on your b.s. too?

aahhh!!!

warning: i may offend you.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39798848/ns/health-diabetes

...these kinds of stories make me SO ANGRY! "1 in 3 people living in the US will have TYPE 2 diabetes by 2050." Know why!? Because Americans just keep getting fatter and fatter and lazier and lazier. Proof is in the pants size. Yes, there is a percentage of the type 2 population that is at a greater risk due to genetics, blah blah and not because they are fat and lazy... but nowadays, that is not the case, generally. Get off your butt and get to a gym people. Workout. Wake up your pancreas and tell diabetes buh bye. Know why?! BECAUSE I CAN'T!!!! If I could simply not ever have to inject myself ever again by going to the gym everyday & eating healthy, know what I'd do? Yup. Go to the gym. every.freaking.day. But oh wait. I do. And I still have diabetes - TYPE 1 DIABETES. yay.

I am so sick of telling people that 'no, there are 2 types of diabetes and i'm type 1, not type 2' then explaining the difference because no one seems to know unless they have a family member with type 1. ugh. As I've said before type 2 needs a new name. It's not the same. Our conditions were not created equal.

When will type 1 diabetes get the recognition it deserves!? When was the last census taken solely of people living with type 1 diabetes in this great nation of ours and not clustered both into the same category of "diabetes"? I've yet to see actual numbers that separate the two. It's always a rough estimate of the actual type 1s based on the 10% rule of the reported cluster.

While I'm at it.... What's a girl got to do to get people to donate to diabetes causes like they do to cancer causes? Breast cancer has a color. Guess what, so does diabetes. Know what it is?! Know the IDF symbol for diabetes? Just how many lifestyle choice/preventable diseases will the government continue funding whilst over-looking other biological conditions like MS and type 1 diabetes.... ::sigh::

I'd say I'd give up but I can't. I'm not done fighting this battle yet.

you have been warned. and maybe offended. and i don't care.