I hope...

I hope this is just some kind of stress side effect or from working out... I hope that there's nothing [else] wrong with me... I hope I know what to do if there is...
I've been somewhat of a hypochondriac for more than awhile and it's kicking in big time right now. Lately my shoulders have been bothering me, like I can't rest/sleep on one side for very long or my arms get weak or tingly or fall asleep. But now, like as I'm writing this, my shoulders feel tired. Could it be from poor circulation? Because I know I have poor circulation, my hands are always cold. Maybe I'm overreacting - anticipating some diabetes complication to kick in. Like my eye sight has changed... again and I have an astigmatism. Is is because I have diabetes or is it just a natural thing that happens? Aging and whatnot? I also just noticed I have red marks on my pinkies... After eight years of this I hadn't really thought about complications, just recently have I begun to contemplate the future, my life in 8, 18 or even 38 years from now... it freaks me out to think of these things. It is, however, a reality of living with diabetes.
What's next? ...

Google Doodle!

Say that 5 times fast HA! google doodle google dodle goodle doogle doogle google godle dogle I can't even type it correct lol anywho... so you know those creative kids over at Google are always coming up with different designs for the word "Google" when you go to their search engine page, right? Usually it's around holidays or for the Olympics and what-have-you. However, Manny and friends over at TuDiabetes.com have come up with the brilliant idea of making a doodle for World Diabetes Day, which ::ahem:: if you didn't know is Novemeber 14th. So follow this link www.diabetesdoodle.com to the petition and sign sign sign away! After signing there's an OPTIONAL donation button to donate to the good people who design these nifty petitions. Again it is optional you are free to just close the browser and your name will be signed along the dotted line just like mine was.
Also, please feel free to copy and paste the letter below and spam your friends so they can all sign it too! Let's make this thing happen people!! Get to it!!!

google doodle goodle goodel doogle google doodle dogle google
__________________________________________________________________
Announcement: Diabetes Doodle for Google-----

Hello Diabetes Supporters,
The founders of TuDiabetes.com and DiabetesDaily.com have teamed up with a mission of getting a diabetes doodle on Google in honor of World Diabetes Day on November 14.
What's a doodle you say? It's those fun Google logos that you sometimes see, especially around the holidays.
There is a petition circulating right now and we need 20,000 signatures by November 1. Sign the petition at www.diabetesdoodle.com.This Cause has more than 45,000 signatures, so if you support diabetes awareness, please sign the petition. Millions of people will see the doodle on November 14 for World Diabetes Day. Make your voice heard!

What kind of what??

Searching through my insurance providers list of endos I come across the Univ. of Miami Diabetes Research Institute. Awesome! I think as I begin to dial the number. These are people who will get me and understand what I need in an endo. Perfect.
::ring riiiing:: of course it's an automated message telling me to please hold...
still holding... listening to the great elevator soundtrack of 1968... stillll holding. Oh someone finally picks up and asks me to keep holding. Ok... continue holding.

Receptionist: (obviously annoyed and disgruntled) Hello how can I help you?
Me: (trying to be as cheery as possibly to the obviously annoyed lady of the other end) Hi! I'd like to make an appointment.
Lady: Ok. What problem are you having??
Me: umm... well I have type 1 diabetes.
Lady: Ok. Are you a new patient?
Me: Yes, I just moved here and I'm looking for a new endocrinologist.
Lady: Ok. What type of diabetics do you have?
Me: ::pause:: (what type of diabetics??) umm... I uh have type 1 diabetes.
Lady: Ok. the next appointment we have available is January 28th.
Me: Oh wow geez that's a long time away but ok. Is there any way I could get some lab works done before I see the new endo? You know so she has something to look at?
Lady: Ok well I'll have to transfer you to the office to see if they can do that. Hold please...
holding.... for about 5 minutes....
Lady: Hi hold on ok?
Me: yeah sure.
Lady: and if there are any cancellations before that appointment we'll give you a call.
Me: Ok thanks I appreciate that.
holding some more...

New Receptionist: (less annoyed than the first receptionist) Hello. How can I help you?
Me: Well I was wondering if I could get some papers sent to my house so I can get some bloodwork done before my appointment.
New Lady: Are you a new patient?
Me: Yes, It'd be the first time seeing this doctor.
New Lady: Well then no. Your doctor has to see you first before writing any prescriptions.
Me: I don't need new prescriptions I already have diabetes. I just want to get my A1c done before I see the doctor.
New Lady: You have to see the doctor before she can write new prescriptions.
Me: Ok. Maybe you didn't hear me correctly. I don't need new prescriptions, I just would like to get some bloodwork done.
New Lady: That's not possible. You have to see the doctor first. Have your old doctor's office send in your files.
Me: Fine.

I gave in. I think that is ridiculous. I want to know what my A1c is now. It was horrible the last time and I've been working on getting it lower and I want to know if my hard work has been "paying off". However, I must admit, eventhough I probably shouldn't... I think the A1c is kind of dumb. It's an average right? So if it is just an average then the average of really high numbers and really low numbers is a pretty awesome number. Right? So, the average of moderate numbers and then a few high numbers is a higher number than the real ones. Catch my drift? I don't think it's a real indicator of how we're really taking care of ourselves. Maybe you disagree. It's just my opinion...

Sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

What the #@*^?!?!?!

So this morning around 7, I wake up because I feel low... so I stumble out of bed... grab a glass from the cabinet and open the fridge to grab the carton of juice. ::shake shake:: pour myself a glass and take a sip... what the?!?! this juice tastes like... soy milk. It took me a minute to realize that I was, in fact, drinking soy milk and not juice so decided I should actually have some juice because soy milk won't work fast enough. Pull out another glass, take out the actual carton of juice ::shake shake:: pour. As I'm drinking I remember what people used to say about mixing orange juice and milk... ever heard that? Supposedly if you drink milk and oj you'll throw up. So with the theory in the back of my mind I'm wondering if I'll start gaging any second now... but no. Apparently it isn't true for soy milk and pineapple/orange/banana juice combo... just so you know. But it was a weird sensation to say the least.

Good way to start off your day.

Happy Saturday!

Hook me up

Feending...
I got a craving... I think I need the patch....

http://www.saic.com/feature/health/diabetes-patch.html

This sounds pretty freaking cool. I'm all about noninvasive technology [D-related or otherwise] and this sounds amazingly close to that! However, I have a strong aversion to things that are sticky. I think that's one of many reasons I hated the pump. The little stickers [I even hate the word ::shiver:: sticker ::shiver::] never stuck! If it can stay in place, not hurt too much and do it's freakin job then hey, sign me up. I like new toys. Could be fun... in a weird it's fun and diabetes related technology kinda way... I'm interested to see this on the market. I mean like a cure or something would be rockin' but whatevs... Just make my life a little easier and I'll be happy! My first endo still has 2 years until he's completely wrong and I will forever call him a lier... [not a direct quote but almost] "they almost have the human genome project figured out and after that it'll be 5 - 10 years and there will be a cure for diabetes!" You've got 2 years mister... let's see what happens first a cure or the patch is gracing the gluteous maximus of everyone with diabetes...

Never give up.

Slipping

I'm slipping.
Maybe


even


falling.
Not sure when it started... but I think I've finally caught myself... maybe... I just uploaded my Freestyle Flash meter into the Co-Pilot program so I can track what I'm doing... Apparently I haven't been doing much testing. I've only an average of 3.4 checks per day in the last month. Not good when trying to "control" my bs. And my Tuesday AM average is waaaay higher than it ever should be and Saturday averages are practically non-existent. Also, when I went back to DC in August I was supposed to go visit my endo. Did I? Nope. I slept til 11 because I didn't get to sleep til 6... but I did manage to wake up for enough time to cancel said appointment. I need an endo in Miami. Any suggestions? ::sigh::















Time to get back on the ball.

Things I...

This will be a random, possibly continuing post of things I hate about diabetes...

One main reason why I hate diabetes is....

having to get out of bed to check my bs because I know I'm low, then going to the kitchen to get juice, then not being able to fall asleep again and it's way to early in the morning to actually be awake...

I hate that.

Now here's something pretty to look at ;)

A beautiful sunset from outside my balcony... the picture does it no justice...

There are times when I don't think I can take it anymore, then there are moments like this one and everything is wonderful again, early AM low blood sugars and all.

Don't forget to look up.

Mind Games

Woah! Time has FLOWN by!! It's already been a month since my great adventure to Miami. Things are going very well. I still love Miami and I still hate Miami traffic/drivers. Monday was my first day of class. I have 3 classes. All at night, for 2.5 hours. Not bad... I get to enjoy the beautiful, sunny Miami days and then go to class at night. Works out perfectly. For whatever reason, my bs has been horrible today. Haven't had a number starting with a 1 all freaking day before class i was over 300. Not a great way to start class... but it's corrected now FINALLY but I also just injested way too many carbs... but hopefully tomorrow I'll be back to normal... whatever that is. My 3 classes are: Intro. to Environmental Health, Community Organization for Health Promotion and Intro. to Epidemiology.
Oh! and ps I got a scholarship for half my tuition this year!!! Amazing news for my bank account :)
Ok that's all I have left for tonight. I'm going to watch a movie and crash.

Hasta luego.