So since my last post I've been reading "A New Earth" like it's going out of style. I'm on page 227 and have a new matra.... "this, too, shall pass"... everything. Time is fleeting and all we have to do is enjoy it. Pains arise, happiness comes and goes but it all will "pass". Even though [for now] diabetes is not passing, it is a daily, non-stop, part of who we are, there are many levels in which we can allow diabetes to control this life we live. I accept it into my life. For awhile I fought it, only had malicious thoughts about it, wanting nothing more than to not be a part of it. Then one day, I realized how silly that is. It is a part of me, inherent in my being and I must accept this as a tiny bit of who I am. Maybe it was part of the grieving process and I've finally made it the 12th step or whatever it is that happened, I'm glad it has. I don't mind living with diabetes what I do mind is when people don't feel like they are able. You are able just probably not willing... yet. You will eventually and you'll learn just as I did that life indeed goes on whether you want it to or not. No one is stopping you from living a completely wonderful life... except you. It takes courage and patience and being able to laugh at yourself. It takes time.
AYUDA has been a major part of this process for me and I honestly don't know where I'd be without them. I've set up a donation page on FirstGiving [with a link to my page if you'll kindly direct your attention to the cute little widget on the side of your screen]. If you feel as passionate as I do about helping other with diabetes please donate... every little bit counts.
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming......
I was reading this morning on the train some more and I came across a paragraph that really made me realize how much I'm not living in the moment. "Your purpose is to sit here and talk to me, because that's where you are and that's what you are doing. Until you get up and do something else. Then, that becomes your purpose"(pg 263). Wow. Yes! I totally get it now. ::deep breath:: "Some changes may look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge"(pg 274). Diabetes can be looked at as a negative change. But is it really? I think it's the best thing that has happened to me in these past 24 years. It has given me the opportunity to become something greater than myself. It has lead me to Ecuador and the children there and AYUDA and I am so happy for that.
becoming more conscious.