So, yes. I know I've been out of commission for quite some time now. Well, honestly, I've been busy. This is my second to last semester of graduate school. I will graduate with a Master of Public Health in April ::fingers crossed:: and after that... I really don't know. I need a job. Badly. I'm looking to stay in Florida, not necessarily Miami, possibly Orlando. Miami has been good, not great. I love the beach, I could do without most of the people. It really is a different world down here and I'm glad to have lived here but it might be time for another change... anyway we'll see what happens...
In diabetes news... My A1c is not where I want it to be, a little high... much like this December warm front 80+ degrees yesterday!)... I'm due to go back to the DRI at the end of January if I can get my insurance straight. I may have to find another doctor and not an endo because the visits aren't being covered for my "pre-existing condition". bull shit. I hate insurance companies. All of them... car insurance, medical insurance...
However, eventhough my A1C is up, I think it's up because I pretty much am never low. I now take 16u of Lantus divided into 8u twice a day and my Novolog ratio hasn't changed any still 1u to 15 carbs. I exercise on a regular basis (6x per week) for at least an hour. My diet, however, oh my diet... what can I say about that... well I've been naughty. Santa will be mad. Too many starches, etc. including desserts. I am definitely an advocate of people with diabetes eating whatever they want. Damnit we can! I just do it at the wrong times of day... like at night... before I go to bed... then I wake up high. Not a good way to start the morning. Slowly but surely I am getting that under control. Habits are hard to break.
That's all for now. I have to wake up early tomorrow for an event - I work for the Florida Heart Research Institute doing cardiovascular risk screenings... have to be there by 7am, on a Sunday. I enjoy it though!
Do what you love.
j
Happy Holidays everyone!!
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
05 December 2009
26 January 2009
Baby steps...
Some quick and exciting news on the stem cell research front ... to begin this summer in patients with spinal cord injuries...
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/23/stem.cell/index.html?iref=werecommend
This could lead to major developments for other injuries and conditions... like ::ahem:: diabetes. Could a cure be closer than we think?
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/23/stem.cell/index.html?iref=werecommend
This could lead to major developments for other injuries and conditions... like ::ahem:: diabetes. Could a cure be closer than we think?
12 December 2008
Dream
Last night I had a dream that I was in a plane crash.
I was on a big 737 with one of my best friends who I've known practically my whole life. Just us. Her and I. And the pilot. The pilot was old with grey hair and a white beard and moustache.
The crash happened fast but nothing even happened to the plane. We landed in a river right on the side of a town. All the townspeople were watching from the shops along the river. My friend opened the plane dooor for the emergency exit and a yellow slide blew up that we could slide down into the water. The water was brown and dirty. She held her breath and jumped out and slide down into the water. I think the water was even shallow enough to stand in. But I wouldn't jump. I was running around the empty plane looking for my purse. She kept screaming for me to get out of the plane, that it might explode, but I wouldn't without my purse. I needed it. Then when I found it I was looking for something I could put it in so it wouldn't get wet. She kept screaming, "get out! get out!" I shouted back, "I need my purse! My insulin is in it!" So I finally got my bag and jumped and slide down into the water. When I hit the water I made sure to hold my bag above my head so it wouldn't get wet. We swam to shore. All three of us. Then I woke up.
Even in my dreams I have diabetes. I guess there is no escaping.
I was on a big 737 with one of my best friends who I've known practically my whole life. Just us. Her and I. And the pilot. The pilot was old with grey hair and a white beard and moustache.
The crash happened fast but nothing even happened to the plane. We landed in a river right on the side of a town. All the townspeople were watching from the shops along the river. My friend opened the plane dooor for the emergency exit and a yellow slide blew up that we could slide down into the water. The water was brown and dirty. She held her breath and jumped out and slide down into the water. I think the water was even shallow enough to stand in. But I wouldn't jump. I was running around the empty plane looking for my purse. She kept screaming for me to get out of the plane, that it might explode, but I wouldn't without my purse. I needed it. Then when I found it I was looking for something I could put it in so it wouldn't get wet. She kept screaming, "get out! get out!" I shouted back, "I need my purse! My insulin is in it!" So I finally got my bag and jumped and slide down into the water. When I hit the water I made sure to hold my bag above my head so it wouldn't get wet. We swam to shore. All three of us. Then I woke up.
Even in my dreams I have diabetes. I guess there is no escaping.
14 November 2008
In the news...
This is a rather good [although quick] "day in the life" of someone like us with type 1. Her name is Dominique and still in the honeymoon phase. Oh how I miss the honeymoon phase...
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/13/a-day-in-the-life-of-type-1-diabetes/
It's good that we're finally getting a little more attention. Although, it's probably just due to the fact that it's National Diabetes Awareness Month or whatever bull shis they made up to make us feel appreciated... kind of like Boss's Day or Valentine's Day. The only other things I've seen in the media are ads at CVS for diabetes supplies for like ketone strips and glucotabs [watermellon is my new favorite]... But I could be wrong there may be more stuff circulating out there... I don't watch TV so maybe there have been some fantabulous stories. Please send me a link if there are...
However, I am very happy about World Diabetes Day. Global attention... that's what we need!
Spread the word. Tell your friends. Celebrate life!
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/13/a-day-in-the-life-of-type-1-diabetes/
It's good that we're finally getting a little more attention. Although, it's probably just due to the fact that it's National Diabetes Awareness Month or whatever bull shis they made up to make us feel appreciated... kind of like Boss's Day or Valentine's Day. The only other things I've seen in the media are ads at CVS for diabetes supplies for like ketone strips and glucotabs [watermellon is my new favorite]... But I could be wrong there may be more stuff circulating out there... I don't watch TV so maybe there have been some fantabulous stories. Please send me a link if there are...
However, I am very happy about World Diabetes Day. Global attention... that's what we need!
Spread the word. Tell your friends. Celebrate life!
31 October 2008
I am
I am a citizen of the United States of America. I am a civilian, not a soldier. I am a 20-something woman, a student, a daughter, a sister, a best friend. I am employed and well-educated and living with a chronic condition.
And you? You couldn't care less.
Except I have a feeling we are not so different. We are worried about the future. The future of our economy, our planet, our health. Since moving to Florida, I have had a very difficult time finding a job so I've had to settle for a job in a restaurant. However, the restaurant industry is not what it used to be with the economy and all... It fits my school schedule and right now that's what is most important. What about after I graduate and am in debt up to my eyeballs with an impeccable piece of paper that says I've Mastered the field of Public Health. Will there be a job for me doing something I actually want to do? That is the American Dream isn't it? To be the person we most dream to be? I have a dream....
Change is never easy. I can attest to that. I've lived in 5 states, 4 of which have been in the last 3 years. Starting over each time. New friends. New faces. New places to get lost. Change. It is never easy but it is inevitable. At some point in our lives we will have to accept it and embrace it. Barack Obama is "change" personified. He is the epitome of the America we used to dream of.
With the two very different presidential candidates, we have the potential for two very different Americas... two very different futures. Imagine those two Americas.
Which one do you want to live in?
Because once we make our choice we cannot go back and erase it.
I believe Obama has the ability to steer our country in the right direction. A direction worthy of its citizens. We deserve better, happier, prosperous lives. If we were voting for who should be the next Army General or Secretary of Defense my vote would be for McCain. Hands down. He's the most qualified man for the job. However, we're not. We're voting for the next President of the United States of America. There are greater issues than the war we are currently engulfed in, thanks to the current regime. McCain would lead our troops excellently. As Commander in Chief, yes that would be ONE of his jobs. But America has issues here on American soil that have not been addressed properly in the last eight years. That needs to change and I most agree with Obama's plans. I'm voting for change. Not just change we can believe in but a change I need to believe in. Freedom. Health insurance. Financial stability. Peace. Education for all. Liberty. Freedom of speech. A vibrant place to raise a family. Health care. The basic human rights our country was founded on that seem to have been lost along the way. I'm voting for change and I hope you do too.
And in a nutshell, that is my opinion. Obama has my vote.
But whatever your choice, just vote. At least that hasn't been taken away... yet.
And you? You couldn't care less.
Except I have a feeling we are not so different. We are worried about the future. The future of our economy, our planet, our health. Since moving to Florida, I have had a very difficult time finding a job so I've had to settle for a job in a restaurant. However, the restaurant industry is not what it used to be with the economy and all... It fits my school schedule and right now that's what is most important. What about after I graduate and am in debt up to my eyeballs with an impeccable piece of paper that says I've Mastered the field of Public Health. Will there be a job for me doing something I actually want to do? That is the American Dream isn't it? To be the person we most dream to be? I have a dream....
Change is never easy. I can attest to that. I've lived in 5 states, 4 of which have been in the last 3 years. Starting over each time. New friends. New faces. New places to get lost. Change. It is never easy but it is inevitable. At some point in our lives we will have to accept it and embrace it. Barack Obama is "change" personified. He is the epitome of the America we used to dream of.
With the two very different presidential candidates, we have the potential for two very different Americas... two very different futures. Imagine those two Americas.
Which one do you want to live in?
Because once we make our choice we cannot go back and erase it.
I believe Obama has the ability to steer our country in the right direction. A direction worthy of its citizens. We deserve better, happier, prosperous lives. If we were voting for who should be the next Army General or Secretary of Defense my vote would be for McCain. Hands down. He's the most qualified man for the job. However, we're not. We're voting for the next President of the United States of America. There are greater issues than the war we are currently engulfed in, thanks to the current regime. McCain would lead our troops excellently. As Commander in Chief, yes that would be ONE of his jobs. But America has issues here on American soil that have not been addressed properly in the last eight years. That needs to change and I most agree with Obama's plans. I'm voting for change. Not just change we can believe in but a change I need to believe in. Freedom. Health insurance. Financial stability. Peace. Education for all. Liberty. Freedom of speech. A vibrant place to raise a family. Health care. The basic human rights our country was founded on that seem to have been lost along the way. I'm voting for change and I hope you do too.
And in a nutshell, that is my opinion. Obama has my vote.
But whatever your choice, just vote. At least that hasn't been taken away... yet.
15 October 2008
I hope...
I hope this is just some kind of stress side effect or from working out... I hope that there's nothing [else] wrong with me... I hope I know what to do if there is...
I've been somewhat of a hypochondriac for more than awhile and it's kicking in big time right now. Lately my shoulders have been bothering me, like I can't rest/sleep on one side for very long or my arms get weak or tingly or fall asleep. But now, like as I'm writing this, my shoulders feel tired. Could it be from poor circulation? Because I know I have poor circulation, my hands are always cold. Maybe I'm overreacting - anticipating some diabetes complication to kick in. Like my eye sight has changed... again and I have an astigmatism. Is is because I have diabetes or is it just a natural thing that happens? Aging and whatnot? I also just noticed I have red marks on my pinkies... After eight years of this I hadn't really thought about complications, just recently have I begun to contemplate the future, my life in 8, 18 or even 38 years from now... it freaks me out to think of these things. It is, however, a reality of living with diabetes.
What's next? ...
I've been somewhat of a hypochondriac for more than awhile and it's kicking in big time right now. Lately my shoulders have been bothering me, like I can't rest/sleep on one side for very long or my arms get weak or tingly or fall asleep. But now, like as I'm writing this, my shoulders feel tired. Could it be from poor circulation? Because I know I have poor circulation, my hands are always cold. Maybe I'm overreacting - anticipating some diabetes complication to kick in. Like my eye sight has changed... again and I have an astigmatism. Is is because I have diabetes or is it just a natural thing that happens? Aging and whatnot? I also just noticed I have red marks on my pinkies... After eight years of this I hadn't really thought about complications, just recently have I begun to contemplate the future, my life in 8, 18 or even 38 years from now... it freaks me out to think of these things. It is, however, a reality of living with diabetes.
What's next? ...
05 October 2008
What kind of what??
Searching through my insurance providers list of endos I come across the Univ. of Miami Diabetes Research Institute. Awesome! I think as I begin to dial the number. These are people who will get me and understand what I need in an endo. Perfect.
::ring riiiing:: of course it's an automated message telling me to please hold...
still holding... listening to the great elevator soundtrack of 1968... stillll holding. Oh someone finally picks up and asks me to keep holding. Ok... continue holding.
Receptionist: (obviously annoyed and disgruntled) Hello how can I help you?
Me: (trying to be as cheery as possibly to the obviously annoyed lady of the other end) Hi! I'd like to make an appointment.
Lady: Ok. What problem are you having??
Me: umm... well I have type 1 diabetes.
Lady: Ok. Are you a new patient?
Me: Yes, I just moved here and I'm looking for a new endocrinologist.
Lady: Ok. What type of diabetics do you have?
Me: ::pause:: (what type of diabetics??) umm... I uh have type 1 diabetes.
Lady: Ok. the next appointment we have available is January 28th.
Me: Oh wow geez that's a long time away but ok. Is there any way I could get some lab works done before I see the new endo? You know so she has something to look at?
Lady: Ok well I'll have to transfer you to the office to see if they can do that. Hold please...
holding.... for about 5 minutes....
Lady: Hi hold on ok?
Me: yeah sure.
Lady: and if there are any cancellations before that appointment we'll give you a call.
Me: Ok thanks I appreciate that.
holding some more...
New Receptionist: (less annoyed than the first receptionist) Hello. How can I help you?
Me: Well I was wondering if I could get some papers sent to my house so I can get some bloodwork done before my appointment.
New Lady: Are you a new patient?
Me: Yes, It'd be the first time seeing this doctor.
New Lady: Well then no. Your doctor has to see you first before writing any prescriptions.
Me: I don't need new prescriptions I already have diabetes. I just want to get my A1c done before I see the doctor.
New Lady: You have to see the doctor before she can write new prescriptions.
Me: Ok. Maybe you didn't hear me correctly. I don't need new prescriptions, I just would like to get some bloodwork done.
New Lady: That's not possible. You have to see the doctor first. Have your old doctor's office send in your files.
Me: Fine.
I gave in. I think that is ridiculous. I want to know what my A1c is now. It was horrible the last time and I've been working on getting it lower and I want to know if my hard work has been "paying off". However, I must admit, eventhough I probably shouldn't... I think the A1c is kind of dumb. It's an average right? So if it is just an average then the average of really high numbers and really low numbers is a pretty awesome number. Right? So, the average of moderate numbers and then a few high numbers is a higher number than the real ones. Catch my drift? I don't think it's a real indicator of how we're really taking care of ourselves. Maybe you disagree. It's just my opinion...
Sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
::ring riiiing:: of course it's an automated message telling me to please hold...
still holding... listening to the great elevator soundtrack of 1968... stillll holding. Oh someone finally picks up and asks me to keep holding. Ok... continue holding.
Receptionist: (obviously annoyed and disgruntled) Hello how can I help you?
Me: (trying to be as cheery as possibly to the obviously annoyed lady of the other end) Hi! I'd like to make an appointment.
Lady: Ok. What problem are you having??
Me: umm... well I have type 1 diabetes.
Lady: Ok. Are you a new patient?
Me: Yes, I just moved here and I'm looking for a new endocrinologist.
Lady: Ok. What type of diabetics do you have?
Me: ::pause:: (what type of diabetics??) umm... I uh have type 1 diabetes.
Lady: Ok. the next appointment we have available is January 28th.
Me: Oh wow geez that's a long time away but ok. Is there any way I could get some lab works done before I see the new endo? You know so she has something to look at?
Lady: Ok well I'll have to transfer you to the office to see if they can do that. Hold please...
holding.... for about 5 minutes....
Lady: Hi hold on ok?
Me: yeah sure.
Lady: and if there are any cancellations before that appointment we'll give you a call.
Me: Ok thanks I appreciate that.
holding some more...
New Receptionist: (less annoyed than the first receptionist) Hello. How can I help you?
Me: Well I was wondering if I could get some papers sent to my house so I can get some bloodwork done before my appointment.
New Lady: Are you a new patient?
Me: Yes, It'd be the first time seeing this doctor.
New Lady: Well then no. Your doctor has to see you first before writing any prescriptions.
Me: I don't need new prescriptions I already have diabetes. I just want to get my A1c done before I see the doctor.
New Lady: You have to see the doctor before she can write new prescriptions.
Me: Ok. Maybe you didn't hear me correctly. I don't need new prescriptions, I just would like to get some bloodwork done.
New Lady: That's not possible. You have to see the doctor first. Have your old doctor's office send in your files.
Me: Fine.
I gave in. I think that is ridiculous. I want to know what my A1c is now. It was horrible the last time and I've been working on getting it lower and I want to know if my hard work has been "paying off". However, I must admit, eventhough I probably shouldn't... I think the A1c is kind of dumb. It's an average right? So if it is just an average then the average of really high numbers and really low numbers is a pretty awesome number. Right? So, the average of moderate numbers and then a few high numbers is a higher number than the real ones. Catch my drift? I don't think it's a real indicator of how we're really taking care of ourselves. Maybe you disagree. It's just my opinion...
Sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
27 September 2008
What the #@*^?!?!?!
So this morning around 7, I wake up because I feel low... so I stumble out of bed... grab a glass from the cabinet and open the fridge to grab the carton of juice. ::shake shake:: pour myself a glass and take a sip... what the?!?! this juice tastes like... soy milk. It took me a minute to realize that I was, in fact, drinking soy milk and not juice so decided I should actually have some juice because soy milk won't work fast enough. Pull out another glass, take out the actual carton of juice ::shake shake:: pour. As I'm drinking I remember what people used to say about mixing orange juice and milk... ever heard that? Supposedly if you drink milk and oj you'll throw up. So with the theory in the back of my mind I'm wondering if I'll start gaging any second now... but no. Apparently it isn't true for soy milk and pineapple/orange/banana juice combo... just so you know. But it was a weird sensation to say the least.
Good way to start off your day.
Happy Saturday!
Good way to start off your day.
Happy Saturday!
23 September 2008
Hook me up
Feending...
I got a craving... I think I need the patch....
http://www.saic.com/feature/health/diabetes-patch.html
This sounds pretty freaking cool. I'm all about noninvasive technology [D-related or otherwise] and this sounds amazingly close to that! However, I have a strong aversion to things that are sticky. I think that's one of many reasons I hated the pump. The little stickers [I even hate the word ::shiver:: sticker ::shiver::] never stuck! If it can stay in place, not hurt too much and do it's freakin job then hey, sign me up. I like new toys. Could be fun... in a weird it's fun and diabetes related technology kinda way... I'm interested to see this on the market. I mean like a cure or something would be rockin' but whatevs... Just make my life a little easier and I'll be happy! My first endo still has 2 years until he's completely wrong and I will forever call him a lier... [not a direct quote but almost] "they almost have the human genome project figured out and after that it'll be 5 - 10 years and there will be a cure for diabetes!" You've got 2 years mister... let's see what happens first a cure or the patch is gracing the gluteous maximus of everyone with diabetes...
Never give up.
I got a craving... I think I need the patch....
http://www.saic.com/feature/health/diabetes-patch.html
This sounds pretty freaking cool. I'm all about noninvasive technology [D-related or otherwise] and this sounds amazingly close to that! However, I have a strong aversion to things that are sticky. I think that's one of many reasons I hated the pump. The little stickers [I even hate the word ::shiver:: sticker ::shiver::] never stuck! If it can stay in place, not hurt too much and do it's freakin job then hey, sign me up. I like new toys. Could be fun... in a weird it's fun and diabetes related technology kinda way... I'm interested to see this on the market. I mean like a cure or something would be rockin' but whatevs... Just make my life a little easier and I'll be happy! My first endo still has 2 years until he's completely wrong and I will forever call him a lier... [not a direct quote but almost] "they almost have the human genome project figured out and after that it'll be 5 - 10 years and there will be a cure for diabetes!" You've got 2 years mister... let's see what happens first a cure or the patch is gracing the gluteous maximus of everyone with diabetes...
Never give up.
10 September 2008
Slipping
I'm slipping.
Maybe
even
falling.
Not sure when it started... but I think I've finally caught myself... maybe... I just uploaded my Freestyle Flash meter into the Co-Pilot program so I can track what I'm doing... Apparently I haven't been doing much testing. I've only an average of 3.4 checks per day in the last month. Not good when trying to "control" my bs. And my Tuesday AM average is waaaay higher than it ever should be and Saturday averages are practically non-existent. Also, when I went back to DC in August I was supposed to go visit my endo. Did I? Nope. I slept til 11 because I didn't get to sleep til 6... but I did manage to wake up for enough time to cancel said appointment. I need an endo in Miami. Any suggestions? ::sigh::
Time to get back on the ball.
Maybe
even
falling.
Not sure when it started... but I think I've finally caught myself... maybe... I just uploaded my Freestyle Flash meter into the Co-Pilot program so I can track what I'm doing... Apparently I haven't been doing much testing. I've only an average of 3.4 checks per day in the last month. Not good when trying to "control" my bs. And my Tuesday AM average is waaaay higher than it ever should be and Saturday averages are practically non-existent. Also, when I went back to DC in August I was supposed to go visit my endo. Did I? Nope. I slept til 11 because I didn't get to sleep til 6... but I did manage to wake up for enough time to cancel said appointment. I need an endo in Miami. Any suggestions? ::sigh::
Time to get back on the ball.
09 September 2008
Things I...
This will be a random, possibly continuing post of things I hate about diabetes...
One main reason why I hate diabetes is....
having to get out of bed to check my bs because I know I'm low, then going to the kitchen to get juice, then not being able to fall asleep again and it's way to early in the morning to actually be awake...
I hate that.
Now here's something pretty to look at ;)
A beautiful sunset from outside my balcony... the picture does it no justice...
There are times when I don't think I can take it anymore, then there are moments like this one and everything is wonderful again, early AM low blood sugars and all.
Don't forget to look up.
26 July 2008
Just Breezy
I have now been in beautiful Miami for a whole week. I'm having mixed emotions but mainly just loving life in such an interesting city. I have been exploring [sometimes unintentionally] the many different sections of South Florida [So Flo for you hipsters out there] but nothing is very far from my new casita. My absolute favorite thing is to drive over the bridges at night coming back from South Beach and seeing all of the buildings and other bridges lit up. It's breath-taking and always brings a smile to my face. By sheer chance I have a friend who moved to South Beach about a month ago from Ecuador. We met in Quito at Campo Amigo about 3 years ago now and it is so amazing to have such an amazing person with you on this crazy journey we both seem to be on through Miami life. AND to top it off he has diabetes too. I love being with other people who are type 1 too. haha Call me crazy but it's comforting... great to have someone who "gets it". I definitely cannot complain about anything at the moment. My dad also has a theory that the happier you are the better your numbers will be... so far it's working ;) Just a few highs in the past week and a couple lows but other than that things could not be better. Still need to get back to my workout routine. My workout for the past few days has been carrying and unpacking boxes...Super excited to start school again too. Classes start on Aug 25 but I'm heading back to DC for a week to celebrate my bday aaaand go to the DC Salsa Congress. Can't wait!!!!!!
Life is good.
[I took the foto on North Beach on a tranquil Wednesday afternoon ::sigh::]
27 June 2008
The Countdown
It's the final countdooownnnnn!!
Whenever I hear that song... or that phrase for that matter... I always transform back to my highschool marching band days and I'm suddenly roll stepping down Veterans Blvd in Metairie, LA or on a football field... flute in hand for some parade or football game playing "it's the final countdown" dududu duuu dudududu duuu. Those are the only words I know but the melody is stuck like cement glue to my brain.
So it's not officially the FINAL countdown [per se] but I am counting down!! 9 days until my last day at work whoop whoop!!! That's such a fun countdown, more so than counting til the last day of class in my mind. Maybe because I'll be back in a classroom before I know it. And I cannot wait!!!!!!! I love being on a campus. Any campus probably. It's so exciting there's always so much energy, even if everyone has been up til 5am, studying or participating in debauchery. ::sigh:: college life. Classes start on August 25. Five days after I start my quarter life crisis.
Still trying to figure out a move date, but it probably won't be long after my last day at work.
Diabetes is in constant flux. Still trying to figure out why. So goes a day in the life of...
A Dieu.
Whenever I hear that song... or that phrase for that matter... I always transform back to my highschool marching band days and I'm suddenly roll stepping down Veterans Blvd in Metairie, LA or on a football field... flute in hand for some parade or football game playing "it's the final countdown" dududu duuu dudududu duuu. Those are the only words I know but the melody is stuck like cement glue to my brain.
So it's not officially the FINAL countdown [per se] but I am counting down!! 9 days until my last day at work whoop whoop!!! That's such a fun countdown, more so than counting til the last day of class in my mind. Maybe because I'll be back in a classroom before I know it. And I cannot wait!!!!!!! I love being on a campus. Any campus probably. It's so exciting there's always so much energy, even if everyone has been up til 5am, studying or participating in debauchery. ::sigh:: college life. Classes start on August 25. Five days after I start my quarter life crisis.
Still trying to figure out a move date, but it probably won't be long after my last day at work.
Diabetes is in constant flux. Still trying to figure out why. So goes a day in the life of...
A Dieu.
22 June 2008
Sunday blood sunday
I love Sundays. I think they're great. The most relaxed day of the week in my mind. Just wake up lazy and fiddle around the house. Today is my dad's birthday but he's busy hiking the Appalachian Trail... yeah that's just how he is. So last night we went to a cute little Italian place in Georgetown called Paolo's to celebrate the life of my dad. The eggplant is delicious! And I had spaghetti arrabiata with chicken. I haven't had spaghetti in I don't remember how long. So yummy and perfectly spicy and mmm my mouth is watering just thinking about it. Highly recommended if you're in the area. It's near M and 31st.
Started doing a countdown of sorts for my move to hot hot hot MIA. Well roughly. I haven't set an exact date. Maybe that's why I feel so stressed and out of wack lately... arg... But it will definitely be sometime in July to give me enough time to adjust to my new locale and get enough beach time [haha like that's possible!] before school starts and I'm hitting the books again. so. freaking. excited. Today I'm going furniture browsing after I get my workout in. Hopefully I'll find somethings to make my new apartment feel like home.
To the land of sand.
Started doing a countdown of sorts for my move to hot hot hot MIA. Well roughly. I haven't set an exact date. Maybe that's why I feel so stressed and out of wack lately... arg... But it will definitely be sometime in July to give me enough time to adjust to my new locale and get enough beach time [haha like that's possible!] before school starts and I'm hitting the books again. so. freaking. excited. Today I'm going furniture browsing after I get my workout in. Hopefully I'll find somethings to make my new apartment feel like home.
To the land of sand.
17 June 2008
woah!
a la joey lawrence. woah!!
ok. so I knew I hadn't blogged in awhile but I didn't think it's been this long! sooo quick life update (for those of yall thinking wtf where is she!? haha):
1. I went down to Miami to check out my future school! and apartments and I found a potentially amazing place :) I'm very excited about starting a new chapter in the book of Jules.
2. My numbers have been high like everyday just about for the past few days and I'm not sure why. It's possible that I'm using expired Novolog. How long is it good after the exp. date??
3. Work isn't bad at all. I really enjoy a few people in my office which makes any situation better. I traded books with one called Confessions of and Economic Hitman. It's mind blowing. Check it out if you get a chance.
4. Workouts are continuing. I've been trying to kick it up a notch with classes like Step and Club Strength a couple days a week but eating cookies all day doesn't help. AT ALL. Hmm maybe that's my solution to update #2.
5. Went to Wolftrap with the fam the other weekend for Louisiana day! We had such a great time and we really felt like we were back in NOLA because it was about 97 degrees that day!! hot-hot-hot!!!
6. Life is great.
ok. so I knew I hadn't blogged in awhile but I didn't think it's been this long! sooo quick life update (for those of yall thinking wtf where is she!? haha):
1. I went down to Miami to check out my future school! and apartments and I found a potentially amazing place :) I'm very excited about starting a new chapter in the book of Jules.
2. My numbers have been high like everyday just about for the past few days and I'm not sure why. It's possible that I'm using expired Novolog. How long is it good after the exp. date??
3. Work isn't bad at all. I really enjoy a few people in my office which makes any situation better. I traded books with one called Confessions of and Economic Hitman. It's mind blowing. Check it out if you get a chance.
4. Workouts are continuing. I've been trying to kick it up a notch with classes like Step and Club Strength a couple days a week but eating cookies all day doesn't help. AT ALL. Hmm maybe that's my solution to update #2.
5. Went to Wolftrap with the fam the other weekend for Louisiana day! We had such a great time and we really felt like we were back in NOLA because it was about 97 degrees that day!! hot-hot-hot!!!
6. Life is great.
17 May 2008
::ahem:: me me me me meeeee
The meme...
The rules are that you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names and why you tagged them. Don't forget to leave them a comment saying ('You're It!') and to go read your blog. You can not tag the person that tagged you, so, since you can't tag me back let me know when you are done so that I can go read YOUR blog answers.
drum roll please...
10. I hate anything sticky, especially saran wrap and tape.
9. I have lived in four states, five cities and nine different houses/apts. and counting...
8. My favorite color is green because it's the color of my eyes and trees.
7. I want to be Samantha Brown... or to get paid to travel and write about it!
6. Even though I'm from Louisiana, I hate seafood... with the exception of crab cakes and crawfish bread.
5. I absoutely love quotes and find new ones everyday. I have a long list saved in my email "draft" box.
4. I prefer to only read non-fiction because I don't think we can ever learn enough about ourselves, each other and the world... and I think I do a pretty good job of making up my own stories and don't need to read anyone else's.
3. I believe in the good of mankind... no matter how many times I have been seriously disappointed.
2. I refused to eat salads until I was in high school because I found it repulsive now I eat them everyday.
1. I thought Mardi Gras was a national holiday until I went to college. Now I'm glad it's not though because it's something unique to my favorite place in the whole world.
10. I hate anything sticky, especially saran wrap and tape.
9. I have lived in four states, five cities and nine different houses/apts. and counting...
8. My favorite color is green because it's the color of my eyes and trees.
7. I want to be Samantha Brown... or to get paid to travel and write about it!
6. Even though I'm from Louisiana, I hate seafood... with the exception of crab cakes and crawfish bread.
5. I absoutely love quotes and find new ones everyday. I have a long list saved in my email "draft" box.
4. I prefer to only read non-fiction because I don't think we can ever learn enough about ourselves, each other and the world... and I think I do a pretty good job of making up my own stories and don't need to read anyone else's.
3. I believe in the good of mankind... no matter how many times I have been seriously disappointed.
2. I refused to eat salads until I was in high school because I found it repulsive now I eat them everyday.
1. I thought Mardi Gras was a national holiday until I went to college. Now I'm glad it's not though because it's something unique to my favorite place in the whole world.
I tag YOU! Anyone who hasn't played yet :)
15 May 2008
incoherant
i think i have peanut butter in my eye. my hands are sticky with apple juice. what time is it?? i'm sweating. and shaking. and and tense.....
as i write this i'm coming out of a low. a low i haven't felt in a long time... i'm 42. but this didn't feel like a 42 i've had before. i woke up sweat puddled on my face and i could feel it about to drip down my back. must wake up i thought. i knew i was (am) low i just couldn't make myself wake up i don't know how long ago that was... i fell back asleep... woke up again... julie you're low. test. go get some juice. ok ok. this felt like a low to where i would need an assistant juice getter-er but then i had thoughts racing through my head about being independent and no i can do this! so then i decided that since i was thinking these strange random thoughts i did indeed not need assistance and went downstairs. open the cabinet get a large glass fill it to the brim with grape juice. then i also conclude i need an apple and some peanut butter. why not...
as i sat and drank my grape juice and slathered peanut butter over my apple (not really sure how i still have my fingers after cutting it... low and shaking...) i could literally feel my blood sugar rising...
The sweat stopped sweating. My hands were still shaking but returned to a steadier normal non-shaking state. My thoughts were still strange but less so than before. Oddly, I started thinking of titles and what I would write in this blog. Hm... maybe I need to go test again... yeah... I do...
Must go wash sticky low induded applepeanutbuttergrapejuice fingers.
happy thursday.
sorry if blog makes little sense... the title should be enough of a warning....
as i write this i'm coming out of a low. a low i haven't felt in a long time... i'm 42. but this didn't feel like a 42 i've had before. i woke up sweat puddled on my face and i could feel it about to drip down my back. must wake up i thought. i knew i was (am) low i just couldn't make myself wake up i don't know how long ago that was... i fell back asleep... woke up again... julie you're low. test. go get some juice. ok ok. this felt like a low to where i would need an assistant juice getter-er but then i had thoughts racing through my head about being independent and no i can do this! so then i decided that since i was thinking these strange random thoughts i did indeed not need assistance and went downstairs. open the cabinet get a large glass fill it to the brim with grape juice. then i also conclude i need an apple and some peanut butter. why not...
as i sat and drank my grape juice and slathered peanut butter over my apple (not really sure how i still have my fingers after cutting it... low and shaking...) i could literally feel my blood sugar rising...
The sweat stopped sweating. My hands were still shaking but returned to a steadier normal non-shaking state. My thoughts were still strange but less so than before. Oddly, I started thinking of titles and what I would write in this blog. Hm... maybe I need to go test again... yeah... I do...
Must go wash sticky low induded applepeanutbuttergrapejuice fingers.
happy thursday.
sorry if blog makes little sense... the title should be enough of a warning....
09 May 2008
Only floss the ones you want to keep
I try not to dwell on things that make me sad, on things I cannot change, on things that depress me or make me think life sucks. I'm not that kind of person. Generally. I'm dwelling. Right now, whole lot of dwelling goin on. Oh yeah. Major dwell-age. Normally, I don't let the big D drag me down. But at the moment, I'm in a poorly lit back ally and it's beating the crap outta me... we're having a knock down all out knife fightin brawl a la West Side Story. I've got the stab wounds to prove it... Can I please say "uncle" and crawl into bed and sleep it off for a bit? Me rindo!!I'm all about diabetes empowerment and being "stronger than diabetes" and the whole bit. This week, man, this week has just got me backed into a mental corner, unable to escape my own thoughts about how much I hate living this way. This is not me... this is not my style. Diabetes usually doesn't bother me this much. I've accepted it long ago and even come to derive joy from it's idiosyncrasies. Hopefully by next week I'll feel more like myself and not the major failure, whining child that I so desperately want to embrace. For the rest this week, however, I am unable. Unable to stop the thoughts, the mental hate mail addressed to my pancreas.
Yours truly.
p.s. I love you.
08 May 2008
Enough!!!
I haven't wanted to blog lately. I haven't wanted to do much of anything lately, especially diabetes related. But I'm forcing myself because I know it will make me feel better... I don't know if it will make you feel better but it will... should... make me feel better...I've had enough of this and I want out. I want off the ride I'm not having fun anymore! I just want it to be over and done with so I... and you and we and everyone with diabetes can be done! forever! I'm tired. It's the kind of tired that you struggle to... keep.. your... eyes... open...
but it's my entire body. My brain wants to shut off, for a day maybe, reboot, power down, relax, rest. To stop. Stop counting and remembering and checking and corrections and carbs and insulin and checking and..... It's constant and I'm tired. So tired.
Monday I had my 3 month follow up endo appointment with Dr. J and got my bloodwork back. My A1c went up. Again. I don't know how. I don't know why. I feel like I've been trying so hard and working out and eating well and nothing, to no avail. I feel like I'm failing myself. It's so frustrating and I just want to stop. I haven't felt this way in a long time because I thought I was doing so well and caring for myself. It's so hard... it used to be so simple. As time goes by it seems to be getting more and more difficult to understand why I can't be "in range" all the freaking time. I thought I knew what I was doing. Have I just been fooling myself? Dr. J says all my other organs are "perfect". Perfect? I don't even know what that means. There is nothing perfect about me. Today I was low 3 times. During the third time I also had a migraine and didn't want to move. I didn't care I was low, I didn't want to eat anything, I just wanted to sit there and will myself to get higher but I also knew that wouldn't happen so I reached in my purse and ate some glucotabs. I didn't care. I just didn't want to have my first seizure at work. How can I stop caring? I'm just so tired and frustrated. Have I said that enough yet?
I look around and see people living their lives. Thinking they have all these worries and problems, living perfectly healthy lives. It makes me laugh and think what do they know about worries. They obviously haven't had a day in the life of a chronic condition. Chronic. That word is so powerful.
Dr. J thinks splitting my Lantus dose will help lower my numbers more. So now I'm taking 10 units twice per day, 12 hours apart. It seems to be working well. Despite the few lows I had today, I've only been high a few times also, everything else has been... decent. I'm going to upload my meter tomorrow and study the graphs and stats and averages. I'm determined to have a graph that looks like the ones I used to have right after I was diagnosed and my endo at Children's in New Orleans would upload my meter and just smile and say how much he loves patients like me. Amazing. Almost always in range. A high here, a low there but great.
I am determined.
I will continue. This is not a battle, I'm not fighting. I'm living my life... trying to work out the kinks. But, I'm frustrated and want to cry and I think I should go to bed. It's been a long day. It's thundering now. I love when it rains at night.
Looking forward.
01 May 2008
I'm Cured!!
I totally didn't have diabetes yesterday. It was awesome. Racking up 70s and 90s ALL day not one number that didn't start with a 7 or a 9. This morning, I'm sittin' pretty at 105. Yeah, Baby! I like ::borat voice::. My dad said it must have been the wine tasting. Who knew... all I have to do is drink... er taste... 20 different kinds of wine and ::BAM:: I am cured.Ok maybe not. I still had to take insulin.... blah blah blah... whatever! Let me bask in my fabulous non-diabetes diabetes glory!! ::muahahahahahaha::
Hopefully it continues today! I have another endo appointment on Cinco de Mayo. This time I'll be ready. I got bloodwork done the other day on my lunch break so it should be in by tomorrow [so they say]. AND I finally figured out why I couldn't upload my meter to the Co-Pilot program to get all the readings on my meter onto nifty little statistical charts and such. Dr. J will be soooo impressed............
To a wonderful Thursday!
PS Ugly Betty's on tonight!! It's definitely my favorite show. ever.
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