motivation

We all need it. We all get it from different sources. We could always use a little more.

I could certainly use yours. How do you stay motivated to care for yourself after all the years of tests and doctors and frustration?

My 15 year dia-versary is in March and I'm planning to celebrate in a big way in 2015.

My main goal for 2015 is be in better control and live harder. I've let myself slip and I know that I need to do all I can to stay focused on my health and well-being to avoid complications down the line. I've found an app that I really like to log my BS. So there's that. What else is there? How do you do it?

happy world diabetes day!

today is a day to celebrate. to celebrate all things diabetes. the ups and downs. the restrictions and indulgences. carb counting. bolusing. journaling. life.
take today to let someone with diabetes know how much you love them. how strong they are for their hard work.
take today to think about others living in far off lands and what it might be like to have diabetes in a different country.
we're all in this together.
juntos somos mas fuertes!

here are some great links you should check out:

http://www.idf.org/worlddiabetesday/

http://volunteers.ayudainc.net/site/PageNavigator/homepage.html

http://www.access2insulin.org/

my life, my style

[this was caught in my draft box but read over it and still thought it was worth sharing]

So, I got some flack in the dlife blog world for my comments that diabetes is a lifestyle and not liking the words "diabetic" or "disease". Here are my thoughts and opinions on the above... There are so many more aspects to diabetes than most people could ever possibly imagine. Diabetes is a part of my everyday life, it is what I do, it is what I want to teach people about, it is a part of who I am [note: I did not say who I am - just a part]. Together we rise and fall like the sun - constant, sometimes glorious, sometimes dark - but definitely always around. Aside from the injections, glicemias, glucotabs, etc., the part of diabetes some don't venture to talk about is the psyco-social aspect. In one of my college psych classes we watched a film called "What the bleep do we know?". Some parts were good, some were just ridiculous, but one part has stuck with me. Dr. Masaru Emoto is a Japanese scientist who has studied the effects of water and our consciousness, sounds silly I know but once you've seen it, it's hard to forget. 

The gist is that positive reinforcements or negative actions have either postive or negative effects on ourselves. The example in the movie is the main character constantly telling herself that she is ugly and awkward and stupid. Dr. Emoto believes this changes our bodies ability to function properly and becomes more susceptible to illness. On the other hand, when you think highly of yourself and have daily positive reinforcements our bodies are healthier because they are stronger. I have brought this concept into my daily life and my diabetes management. If I were to wake up daily saying how much I hate diabetes, how this disease is going to kill me, and/or how I wish I for some other body than the one I have with functioning organs, in essence, I'd be making myself worse. These negative thoughts and ideas have a profoundly harmful effect on our lives and how we perceive ourselves. So no I don't say I have a disease, but a condition. I don't say I'm diabetic, but have diabetes. This is why. In all logic, yes, it means the same thing but the way I think about my condition doesn't have to have the same effect. Diabetes is my lifestyle because it is the way in which I choose to live. Happy, peaceful, calm, proud, healthy. I did not choose diabetes, it has chosen me - like a stray animal never wanting to leave your side... sometimes you're friends, sometimes you want to kick it in the head. Oh sorry, off topic, please don't kick animals that's just mean and bad karma and I really love animals. Because of diabetes, I have found some amazing people and an inner-strength I may have never needed or found otherwise. 

We all have trials and tribulations but to add diabetes on to all of that, it can either make you or break you [sorry to be so cliche]. I choose to think this way about diabetes because I don't see any other way to do so. Diabetes is not something you can fight. In battle someone always loses and diabetes is going to be around for awhile. You must learn to live with it, to accept it, to rise and fall and rise again.

Feel the love. http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaru_Emoto

long lost letters

wow. so much has happened since my last post. but i've been inspired to write again by a great friend and some recent life experiences, especially in regards to the 'betes.

this quote means so much to me right now. i can't help but think about the daily ups and downs of living with diabetes and how difficult it can be. quite frankly, it can be exhausting. i'm exhausted. but still we must carrying on.

i started logging my blood sugars again (yes, again, i know i should never have stopped... to err is to be human... and all that jazz) because i've been slipping and need to maintain tighter control. i need to take care of my body. every other aspect of my life is in some way recorded. i write down my exercise routines. i photograph my life. i make lists for just about everything... except for the biggest part of my life... my diabetes management. so for almost two weeks now i've been logging and realizing how out of whack i've been allowing myself to be. one of my biggest concerns is going low while i work out so, for some reason, being high was my option. that is not a good option. so i'm taking control. writing down my food (and being very boring about what i eat for now) and blood sugar levels, testing way more frequently to get a better sense of a pattern that might emerge.all the necessary things. i've also enlisted an amazing friend (nurse and cde) to be my coach. he's such a help... an inspiration that we can do this.... i mean he knows the drill too he's had diabetes for nearly 50 years. asking for help is also something i'm not too good at but i think we can all use the extra motivation, schedule time to talk with someone about what's going on in our lives. we must take care of our bodies.

as far as my 'diet' is concered i'm following the paleo diet. no grains. no legumes. only heavy cream/butter, if at all. i've also cut out coffee because it seems to make me go high and have switched to unsweetened green tea with lemon.

i'm starting to feel more in control of myself but not in an ocd way that will make me go crazy. i have reached the point where i do love my body and that the outside noise is just that, noise. the temptation to eat outside of my chosen lifestyle is fading. (but that's not to say people with diabetes can't eat whatever we want, because we can). i just choose not to because i'm trying to stay physically fit and lower my bmi and really change the way my body looks by increasing my muscle mass. anyway. it feels good to be back and i hope to continue to find time to write more about my journey in this crazy life. and i hope you continue to find it interesting.

i'm open for questions/comments so please feel free to ask me anything.

to our health.

diaversary

today is my 11th diaversary. 11 years. wow. it's amazing to think over the past years of all the injections, tests, doctor visits ... and just the changes in general, really. since 2000 - i've graduated college, started working/volunteering with AYUDA, moved to Texas [thanks Katrina], moved to Maryland, moved to Miami, graduated with a Masters, got my heart broken, moved back to Maryland and began life anew. all the while being vigilant of my blood sugar thanks to my broken pancreas [& stronger for it]. i'm not trying to say i'm amazing, but let's face it - i'm awesome. though i'm not the picture of perfect health, in every other aspect of my life i do all i can to live well and so far, i am.

so today, on this 11th year of my dx, to celebrate the awesomeness that is me, i'm going to have a cupcake. then i'm going to capoeira. then tomorrow will come and be just another day.

to tomorrow.

endo day

today i have an endo appt. i'm anxious bc i know my blood work is in and i'm hoping for good news, though i'm not really expecting to hear any. i'm also working toward my 11 year diaversary - march 15. this is going to be an emotion day. after this long, i thought i'd be over the emotional roller coaster with D but it seems there are still things that can upset me.... that's life though right? in other news, if you shop at Gap/Banana Republic/Old Navy you can save 30% and in the process donate 5% to the JDRF.

go forth and shop my friends!

retail therapy does wonders ;)

changes

so recently, the jdrf revealed it's new mission - which no longer focuses on a cure as it's main goal. jdrf is changing focus to help those of us with diabetes to live better lives with diabetes. i'm having seriously mixed emotions about this whole ordeal. on one hand i kind of knew all along i would never be "cured" on the other, i always had hope. hope is what kept me going - that one day i will no longer wake up to my daily routine of bg check, insulin, food, repeat. i don't need the jdrf to focus on me living better, i need the jdrf to figure out why. why me? why us? why diabetes? there has to be a logical reason, there has to be a way to stop it from happening. yes. technology does help me live a better life than the one my grandfather had but no i'm not content knowing one less group is looking for a cure. the dri continues to be "the best hope to a cure". i know where my money is going now... sorry jdrf... you give up on me, i give up on you.

one day.

inspiration

i love the inspiration that this man brings to the world of diabetes and people living with diabetes. i met him a few years ago but haven't been able to hear him speak since. it's a wonderful reminder that life goes on, diabetes sucks and we're allowed to feel exactly what we're feeling.

::sigh::

looking toward the sky.

the history of diabetes

This is a great Journal article on the history of diabetes... and it's an easy read.

You don't know where you're going unless you know where you've been...

http://www.journalofdiabetology.org/Pages/Releases/PDFFiles/FirstIssue/RA-1-JOD-09-001.pdf

cheers!

c'est la vie

i've been back from Paris for about a week now and still can't get over how AMAZING my blood sugar was while i was there... and no i did not behave. every morning for breakfast i had eggs, potatoes and 2, yes 2! chocolate croissants. for lunch i had more bread. and dinner i had more bread and cheese and wine and it was divine. my theory is not only was i walking everywhere [we barely sat long enough to have lunch] but i was blissfully happy. no stress, no thinking about my lack of full time employment, no worries about traffic... i was just peacefully content being lost in a new land. i've tried to bring my new outlook back with me to DC but it hasn't been as successful as i'd like. i don't get to walk very much, i work out frequently but at times that aren't too convenient. the eggs and potato breakfast quickly went by the wayside and there are no croissants waiting for me by the coffee pot.

i found an endo i like better than previous ones and he seems like he can shake me up a bit. i think i'm on the right track... i've also been journaling my numbers so i can get a better idea of how they're behaving. hopefully this will be the new beginning of a wonderful life together, big D and i.

here's hoping...

hip! hip! ....

so as we know it's diabetes month! whoop whoop! and today i have my first endo appt with a brand, spanking new doctor. we shall see how that goes. i've been feeling really down about this whole diabetes things lately and i could use some good advice. hopefully, i'll really like my new endo and he can get me back on track because lately things have been crazy. crazy bad, not crazy good. anywho... here's a great video from TuDiabetes and that picture of the cute little girl holding up the bottle of insulin? that's one of AYUDA's campers. [legally, i don't know if they're allowed to use that photo but whatever it's cute and of course everyone loves it. i just think AYUDA should get a little credit for it].

‎"Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can."

dear D

dear diabetes,
today, i hate you. i hate you more than i've ever hated you in the past 10 year relationship we've unwillingly shared. i don't know what else to do to appease you. i feel like i've tried it all and i'm so frustrated it doesn't seem to be working. i want to throw my hands up in the air and scream "i'm done!" but i won't because i know i'm not. i'm just tired... tired of dealing with you and the stress and carb counting and insulin ratios and pretending like it's all ok. it's not ok. i'm not ok. please, please, please go away and leave me alone! although that is unlikely, please just behave so i can continue living my life.

sincerely,
not your bff

i.f.

so since saturday i've been trying a new "diet". it's more of a change in eating times than an actual diet. it's called intermittent fasting and the idea is that you only eat between 11am - 7pm or noon - 8pm... so far it hasn't really been too difficult. last night i needed some orange juice "after hours" bc my b.s. was too low to go to sleep at. and this morning i had some coffee and made my way into the office. so far so good. my bs also seems to be in slightly better control bc i haven't let myself eat past 8pm (something my doc in Miami told me to do anyway). thoughts? do you think that eating late has a serious effect on your b.s. too?

aahhh!!!

warning: i may offend you.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39798848/ns/health-diabetes

...these kinds of stories make me SO ANGRY! "1 in 3 people living in the US will have TYPE 2 diabetes by 2050." Know why!? Because Americans just keep getting fatter and fatter and lazier and lazier. Proof is in the pants size. Yes, there is a percentage of the type 2 population that is at a greater risk due to genetics, blah blah and not because they are fat and lazy... but nowadays, that is not the case, generally. Get off your butt and get to a gym people. Workout. Wake up your pancreas and tell diabetes buh bye. Know why?! BECAUSE I CAN'T!!!! If I could simply not ever have to inject myself ever again by going to the gym everyday & eating healthy, know what I'd do? Yup. Go to the gym. every.freaking.day. But oh wait. I do. And I still have diabetes - TYPE 1 DIABETES. yay.

I am so sick of telling people that 'no, there are 2 types of diabetes and i'm type 1, not type 2' then explaining the difference because no one seems to know unless they have a family member with type 1. ugh. As I've said before type 2 needs a new name. It's not the same. Our conditions were not created equal.

When will type 1 diabetes get the recognition it deserves!? When was the last census taken solely of people living with type 1 diabetes in this great nation of ours and not clustered both into the same category of "diabetes"? I've yet to see actual numbers that separate the two. It's always a rough estimate of the actual type 1s based on the 10% rule of the reported cluster.

While I'm at it.... What's a girl got to do to get people to donate to diabetes causes like they do to cancer causes? Breast cancer has a color. Guess what, so does diabetes. Know what it is?! Know the IDF symbol for diabetes? Just how many lifestyle choice/preventable diseases will the government continue funding whilst over-looking other biological conditions like MS and type 1 diabetes.... ::sigh::

I'd say I'd give up but I can't. I'm not done fighting this battle yet.

you have been warned. and maybe offended. and i don't care.

work it out

here are 3 of my newest favoritest blogs out there in regards to nutrition and exercise!
http://www.leangains.com/

http://firthfitness.com/

http://www.myomytv.com/

i really think these are some of the best tips out there... covers everything from kettle bell workouts to irish stew to new ways of thinking about "dieting". healthy changes = healthy lifestyle. as a person living with diabetes, the two most important things i do for myself are working out (at least 5x/week) and eating a healthy diet (with some occasional cheating). so get out there, grab some weights and get to it!

In these changing times, make a renewed commitment to yourself to lead a healthy life. Here are some tips to help you find balance, stay focused and gain perspective. IT'S THE MIND OF THE TIMES.

1. Exercise When you exercise you are present in the moment and not focused on worries and concerns. Studies show that cardiovascular and resistance training can help reduce stress and boost endorphins. Try a minimum of 30 minutes of vigorous exercise most days of the week.
2.Get enough sleep Insufficient sleep can make it more difficult to cope with the normal challenges of daily life. Most adults need 7-8 hours of sleep to function optimally.
3. Eat well A balanced diet high in fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins can help reduce stress by stabilizing blood sugar levels. Combine carbohydrates, protein and healthy fats at each meal to fuel and energize your body.
4. Pay it forward Studies show that people who approach life with a positive attitude are less stressed. Begin and end every day by making a mental list of the things for which you are grateful.
5. Live in the moment Accept that some things are out of your control. Rather than worrying about what will happen next week, next month or next year, focus on making decisions that will lead you in the direction of your goals.
6. Get organized Being disorganized can add to your stress level. Knowing where things are and reducing clutter lets you focus on the important things.
7. Meditate Studies show that people who meditate regularly have more activity in their left frontal cortex and less activity in the amygdala – both of which are associated with calmer emotional states. There are many ways to meditate. Practice yoga, take a walk in nature, sit quietly, spend time with your pet or take a bubble bath.
8. Say no when necessary Avoid taking on more than you can accomplish. Do not feel guilty saying “no” to unnecessary obligations and responsibilities.
9. Hydrate Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Water regulates body temperature, aids in the absorption of vitamins and nutrients and detoxifies the liver and kidneys.
10. Lean on your support system People who have a strong social network of family and friends typically report less stress and a better ability to cope. Don’t be afraid to ask for support from close friends and family during these times.
(from the equinox.com site)

keep moving!

endo schmindo

looking for a new endo in the DC metro area... anyone have one they love?! when i lived here a couple of years ago i never found one i really liked...
i just started keeping a log again, hopefully this time i'll actually make myself do it. it really is very helpful to see all of your numbers in one little book. i tried to track them in an iPhone app but wasn't too successful at that.

progress.

priorities

it seems that people are all too focused on politics in this day in age - on race, on sides, on everything except what is important - living a healthy, meaningful life.
can't we all just get along?!

let's focus all this energy on something more meaningful - on research, on jobs, on life. i don't know about you but i would like to not have diabetes one day, a job tomorrow and a healthy life! what's it going to take?

[i think i'd forgotten how much i semi-anonymously love going on rants. it's good to be back.]

por fa please

I am alive today because of the insulin I inject myself with on a daily basis. I have met kids who do not have that "luxury". Living a healthy life should not be a luxury, it is a right - for every human being not matter their age, race, nationality. I have met kids who were literally dying because they had no insulin - on dialysis at 20 years old. What kind of life is that? Having seizures multiple times per month because they were never properly educated on how insulin works and how to use it. What kind of life is that? As a person with diabetes, I know what it's like to live with this condition but others - like the kids I work with in Ecuador - aren't so lucky. The daily ups and downs of diabetes is a constant struggle and to add the cost of medications and test strips and doctors visits on top of all that can, at times, be too much to bear. But, today, I am alive because I am able to inject myself with insulin - daily. 24/7/365. This is my reality and I want it to be the reality of the children with diabetes in Ecuador (until there's a cure). Insulin isn't a luxury. It's the life of a child, a friend, a sister, a father. Insulin is life.





Please help with a small donation or even by just passing along this message. you have to power to improve someone's health - someone's life.





"A lack of education is just as dangerous as a lack of insulin".





To donate please visit: www.firstgiving.com/julieburke or http://www.ayudainc.net/ and mention "Julie" or "Pancreatically Challenged" or both in the memo :)





Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

happy birthday.

Controversy

I think type 2 diabetes should have another name. This is what I've come up with - Metabolic Syndrome, Insulin Deficient - or some form thereof.

I hope someone important is reading this and decides I'm right, because I am.

Sweet dreams.

Update...tis the season...

So, yes. I know I've been out of commission for quite some time now. Well, honestly, I've been busy. This is my second to last semester of graduate school. I will graduate with a Master of Public Health in April ::fingers crossed:: and after that... I really don't know. I need a job. Badly. I'm looking to stay in Florida, not necessarily Miami, possibly Orlando. Miami has been good, not great. I love the beach, I could do without most of the people. It really is a different world down here and I'm glad to have lived here but it might be time for another change... anyway we'll see what happens...
In diabetes news... My A1c is not where I want it to be, a little high... much like this December warm front 80+ degrees yesterday!)... I'm due to go back to the DRI at the end of January if I can get my insurance straight. I may have to find another doctor and not an endo because the visits aren't being covered for my "pre-existing condition". bull shit. I hate insurance companies. All of them... car insurance, medical insurance...
However, eventhough my A1C is up, I think it's up because I pretty much am never low. I now take 16u of Lantus divided into 8u twice a day and my Novolog ratio hasn't changed any still 1u to 15 carbs. I exercise on a regular basis (6x per week) for at least an hour. My diet, however, oh my diet... what can I say about that... well I've been naughty. Santa will be mad. Too many starches, etc. including desserts. I am definitely an advocate of people with diabetes eating whatever they want. Damnit we can! I just do it at the wrong times of day... like at night... before I go to bed... then I wake up high. Not a good way to start the morning. Slowly but surely I am getting that under control. Habits are hard to break.
That's all for now. I have to wake up early tomorrow for an event - I work for the Florida Heart Research Institute doing cardiovascular risk screenings... have to be there by 7am, on a Sunday. I enjoy it though!

Do what you love.

j

Happy Holidays everyone!!