Stress

So if you know me even the slightest you know I don't stress easily. I'm a very laid back, easy going kinda gal, I just take what life gives me and I deal with it. I think diabetes has had a lot to do with this attitude of mine [as well as growing up in Louisiana]. But there are a few things that are able to make me want to pull my hair out or sleep for two days straight, out of sheer avoidance. One of those things is coming up on the 16th of this month... the GRE. I know, I know. I should have taken it right after college then I wouldn't have to be dealing with it now but I also tend to procrastinate things like this because of the stress factor. I keep telling myself that I'm going to study but I keep looking over at that packet and returning to whatever it was that I was doing before. Like now for instance... instead of reading that stupid packet I'm blogging...
This test holds my future hostage. For four hours I will be in a room sitting in front of a computer answering questions I probably haven't even thought of since freshman year or before. That makes me anxious. Answering questions that hold the key to the rest of my life stresses me out. Without it though, I am unable to get into the graduate program I want so I can stop doing temp work and actually have a career and accomplish my goals and dreams. When all is said and done and I've graduated [hopefully within the next 2.5 years] I will hold [again, hopefully] a Masters in Public Health and going to work in the diabetes realm. I want to also become a Certified Diabetes Educator so I can continue educating myself and others with diabetes, specifically in under served populations in the states and abroad. I'd also like to continue volunteering with AYUDA and going back to camp with a larger role, even though I absolutely love being a counselor, I can't do it forever. But I can always be involved some how.
If only it weren't so scary and stressful... maybe I'm just making it a bigger deal than it should be... maybe not....
Peace, love and insulin.