motivation

We all need it. We all get it from different sources. We could always use a little more.

I could certainly use yours. How do you stay motivated to care for yourself after all the years of tests and doctors and frustration?

My 15 year dia-versary is in March and I'm planning to celebrate in a big way in 2015.

My main goal for 2015 is be in better control and live harder. I've let myself slip and I know that I need to do all I can to stay focused on my health and well-being to avoid complications down the line. I've found an app that I really like to log my BS. So there's that. What else is there? How do you do it?

no limits

I recently came across a post on Facebook that made me stop and say wow. I couldn't stop clicking through links and pictures and then I realized I'd been clicking for over an hour and being totally inspired by this journey. I'm not sure who this person is, not even sure what his name is but I'm inspired by his journey and passion.

I'm referring to LivingVertical. So many times we've all heard or thought that something was now impossible because we've been diagnosed with T1D. Well, this guy broke down all of those stereotypical thoughts by rock climbing his way around the States and living out of a car. All while managing his T1D the old fashioned way. It almost makes me want to do the same, except I've only been rock climbing three times or so (once actually outdoors) and I don't think my cat would do well living in a car. I'd need an RV. Definitely an RV. He also takes amazing photos. Something that I'm also passionate about. His journey has planted a new line of thinking in my head and now I feel inspired to do more. To live harder and more passionately without thinking I have limits just because I have T1D. What would you do without limits? What are you doing because you know there are none?

happy world diabetes day!

today is a day to celebrate. to celebrate all things diabetes. the ups and downs. the restrictions and indulgences. carb counting. bolusing. journaling. life.
take today to let someone with diabetes know how much you love them. how strong they are for their hard work.
take today to think about others living in far off lands and what it might be like to have diabetes in a different country.
we're all in this together.
juntos somos mas fuertes!

here are some great links you should check out:

http://www.idf.org/worlddiabetesday/

http://volunteers.ayudainc.net/site/PageNavigator/homepage.html

http://www.access2insulin.org/

my life, my style

[this was caught in my draft box but read over it and still thought it was worth sharing]

So, I got some flack in the dlife blog world for my comments that diabetes is a lifestyle and not liking the words "diabetic" or "disease". Here are my thoughts and opinions on the above... There are so many more aspects to diabetes than most people could ever possibly imagine. Diabetes is a part of my everyday life, it is what I do, it is what I want to teach people about, it is a part of who I am [note: I did not say who I am - just a part]. Together we rise and fall like the sun - constant, sometimes glorious, sometimes dark - but definitely always around. Aside from the injections, glicemias, glucotabs, etc., the part of diabetes some don't venture to talk about is the psyco-social aspect. In one of my college psych classes we watched a film called "What the bleep do we know?". Some parts were good, some were just ridiculous, but one part has stuck with me. Dr. Masaru Emoto is a Japanese scientist who has studied the effects of water and our consciousness, sounds silly I know but once you've seen it, it's hard to forget. 

The gist is that positive reinforcements or negative actions have either postive or negative effects on ourselves. The example in the movie is the main character constantly telling herself that she is ugly and awkward and stupid. Dr. Emoto believes this changes our bodies ability to function properly and becomes more susceptible to illness. On the other hand, when you think highly of yourself and have daily positive reinforcements our bodies are healthier because they are stronger. I have brought this concept into my daily life and my diabetes management. If I were to wake up daily saying how much I hate diabetes, how this disease is going to kill me, and/or how I wish I for some other body than the one I have with functioning organs, in essence, I'd be making myself worse. These negative thoughts and ideas have a profoundly harmful effect on our lives and how we perceive ourselves. So no I don't say I have a disease, but a condition. I don't say I'm diabetic, but have diabetes. This is why. In all logic, yes, it means the same thing but the way I think about my condition doesn't have to have the same effect. Diabetes is my lifestyle because it is the way in which I choose to live. Happy, peaceful, calm, proud, healthy. I did not choose diabetes, it has chosen me - like a stray animal never wanting to leave your side... sometimes you're friends, sometimes you want to kick it in the head. Oh sorry, off topic, please don't kick animals that's just mean and bad karma and I really love animals. Because of diabetes, I have found some amazing people and an inner-strength I may have never needed or found otherwise. 

We all have trials and tribulations but to add diabetes on to all of that, it can either make you or break you [sorry to be so cliche]. I choose to think this way about diabetes because I don't see any other way to do so. Diabetes is not something you can fight. In battle someone always loses and diabetes is going to be around for awhile. You must learn to live with it, to accept it, to rise and fall and rise again.

Feel the love. http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaru_Emoto

long lost letters

wow. so much has happened since my last post. but i've been inspired to write again by a great friend and some recent life experiences, especially in regards to the 'betes.

this quote means so much to me right now. i can't help but think about the daily ups and downs of living with diabetes and how difficult it can be. quite frankly, it can be exhausting. i'm exhausted. but still we must carrying on.

i started logging my blood sugars again (yes, again, i know i should never have stopped... to err is to be human... and all that jazz) because i've been slipping and need to maintain tighter control. i need to take care of my body. every other aspect of my life is in some way recorded. i write down my exercise routines. i photograph my life. i make lists for just about everything... except for the biggest part of my life... my diabetes management. so for almost two weeks now i've been logging and realizing how out of whack i've been allowing myself to be. one of my biggest concerns is going low while i work out so, for some reason, being high was my option. that is not a good option. so i'm taking control. writing down my food (and being very boring about what i eat for now) and blood sugar levels, testing way more frequently to get a better sense of a pattern that might emerge.all the necessary things. i've also enlisted an amazing friend (nurse and cde) to be my coach. he's such a help... an inspiration that we can do this.... i mean he knows the drill too he's had diabetes for nearly 50 years. asking for help is also something i'm not too good at but i think we can all use the extra motivation, schedule time to talk with someone about what's going on in our lives. we must take care of our bodies.

as far as my 'diet' is concered i'm following the paleo diet. no grains. no legumes. only heavy cream/butter, if at all. i've also cut out coffee because it seems to make me go high and have switched to unsweetened green tea with lemon.

i'm starting to feel more in control of myself but not in an ocd way that will make me go crazy. i have reached the point where i do love my body and that the outside noise is just that, noise. the temptation to eat outside of my chosen lifestyle is fading. (but that's not to say people with diabetes can't eat whatever we want, because we can). i just choose not to because i'm trying to stay physically fit and lower my bmi and really change the way my body looks by increasing my muscle mass. anyway. it feels good to be back and i hope to continue to find time to write more about my journey in this crazy life. and i hope you continue to find it interesting.

i'm open for questions/comments so please feel free to ask me anything.

to our health.

diaversary

today is my 11th diaversary. 11 years. wow. it's amazing to think over the past years of all the injections, tests, doctor visits ... and just the changes in general, really. since 2000 - i've graduated college, started working/volunteering with AYUDA, moved to Texas [thanks Katrina], moved to Maryland, moved to Miami, graduated with a Masters, got my heart broken, moved back to Maryland and began life anew. all the while being vigilant of my blood sugar thanks to my broken pancreas [& stronger for it]. i'm not trying to say i'm amazing, but let's face it - i'm awesome. though i'm not the picture of perfect health, in every other aspect of my life i do all i can to live well and so far, i am.

so today, on this 11th year of my dx, to celebrate the awesomeness that is me, i'm going to have a cupcake. then i'm going to capoeira. then tomorrow will come and be just another day.

to tomorrow.

endo day

today i have an endo appt. i'm anxious bc i know my blood work is in and i'm hoping for good news, though i'm not really expecting to hear any. i'm also working toward my 11 year diaversary - march 15. this is going to be an emotion day. after this long, i thought i'd be over the emotional roller coaster with D but it seems there are still things that can upset me.... that's life though right? in other news, if you shop at Gap/Banana Republic/Old Navy you can save 30% and in the process donate 5% to the JDRF.

go forth and shop my friends!

retail therapy does wonders ;)

changes

so recently, the jdrf revealed it's new mission - which no longer focuses on a cure as it's main goal. jdrf is changing focus to help those of us with diabetes to live better lives with diabetes. i'm having seriously mixed emotions about this whole ordeal. on one hand i kind of knew all along i would never be "cured" on the other, i always had hope. hope is what kept me going - that one day i will no longer wake up to my daily routine of bg check, insulin, food, repeat. i don't need the jdrf to focus on me living better, i need the jdrf to figure out why. why me? why us? why diabetes? there has to be a logical reason, there has to be a way to stop it from happening. yes. technology does help me live a better life than the one my grandfather had but no i'm not content knowing one less group is looking for a cure. the dri continues to be "the best hope to a cure". i know where my money is going now... sorry jdrf... you give up on me, i give up on you.

one day.